Fortune cookies are one of my secret weaknesses. I know it's very non-Chinese of me because honestly, fortune cookies were never a genuine Chinese tradition--only in Chinese restaurants as a gracious way to present the bill. I hate it when the restaurants offer the obligatory fortune cookie to each person at the table. This means you only get one grab at a fortune. But when you get to scoop a bunch of tasty fortune cookies into your own bag, then your chances of getting a decent fortune increases tenfold.
You know, when you have one of those moments when you crave something less potent than dark Belgium chocolates and a lot more than healthy snacks? This is one of those snack attacks when chips and Cheetos just won't do, but you definitely don't want a rice cracker either. When all else fails to entice, then it's a bag of fortune cookies for me.
I had the fortune cookie craving the other day. I felt I needed the fuel for walking the hilly 4-mile route around our neighbourhood. Reading the fortunes always spurred me on as I snacked while tackling the hills. Besides, I could burn 2000 calories, maybe 3000 calories, by the time I completed my route.
The first hill is a killer because my knees practically hit my chin as I make my way up to the top--munching three fortune cookies during the climb. Before descending the other side, I read my fortunes. Number 1 said: "Beware any obstacles." As far as I could see, I had two more hills before the route leveled out and got me home. Fortune Number 2 said: Smile and the World smiles with you." Just knowing I had two more obstacles made me groan. Who could possibly smile? Fortune Number 3 said: "Your efforts will pay off." Now, that was a keeper. I wanted to look great in my new dress and by gosh, by golly, I will! Tucked this fortune in my pocket and tossed the others in the trash bin.
Downhill was a breeze--a fast pace downwards, a block of level ground and then the start of hill number 2. This one is a sneakier hill because it's a gradual upgrade, then steep near the top and a slow drop down the other side. Because the route is longer here, I ate five more fortune cookies. Reaching the peak, I sorted through my fortunes, two were the same: "Stop and smell the roses." Not yet, not until I complete the last hill. The next one read: "Today, indulge your craving. Tomorrow arrives soon enough." Whoa, was that some kind of dire warning? My last one said: "The sky's the limit." I liked that. Tucked it in my pocket. But wait, five cookies should have five fortunes. One of my cookies arrived empty--or did it? I didn't think I had dropped a fortune and I sure as heck wasn't going back to look.
Trudging down the gradual decline, I waited until I got to the final hill before I ate my way through the last four cookies. This was actually a medium hill with a medium incline and then a "running" decline. Finally, a block from home, I checked out my slips of paper. "Laughter is the music of one's soul." Hm-mm, that sounded nice. The next slip of paper said: Fortune has a fickle heart and a short memory." Guess that meant my lottery ticket didn't win--again. The final two were identical and whoever wrote these had a terrific sense of humour. "Fortune smiles at those who help themselves; but sometimes Fortune needs a good kick in the pants to recognize you."
Never mind that I devoured a bag of fortune cookies. Of course Fortune was seeing the future thinner Me. That 4-mile walk had to have burnt off 3000 calories. Whoever said, "Never trust a fortune cookie" didn't know what they were eating--I mean, reading!