It is this point, this particular moment, that should have been plot point one. Plot point one, for those of you who do not spend your time writing, is the point where the main character is thrust from their normal life and the character is faced with a problem that they need to solve. Yet the four years that followed it had events both good and bad that were of equal importance. There is of course the depressing reality that my life is not a story and that Just “am” and “will be” until both states fail to hold true anymore.
It was this increasingly confused scene, with me walking on the beach living life for those who couldn’t and at the same time organizing the past four years of my life into terms that made while my brain was enjoying the scene of today with the green leaves and blue sky and the cloud of obvious bean bag softness. The honk coming from the driver who could care less about what I was thinking as long as I did not do it in the middle of the street jolted me back to reality and so I finished crossing the street and continued walking.
As I get closer and closer to leaving for China I can feel the anticipation building every day. I feel much the way a child does when he passes the wrapped up gifts under a Christmas tree. There is going to be so many fun and new experiences waiting for me. I will be going to my first Chinese wedding, not only one but possibly three. The chances that my family will come into my life and, as they tend to do, try to correct their flaws be “fixing” me, are minimal and that leaves me to concentrate on more important things like going to Shanghai and having three consecutive days of fun or finally learning Chinese and going on random adventures to places because they “sounded neat when I read about them”
See this, this right here is plot point 1. Yes the motel room I am living in is about the size of a large bathroom. The print on the wall with the three ducks is hardly inspiring. But it is finally my life ..
The lamainated “do not disturb” sign attached the wall with a magnet has become as much of a motto for me as “Leave things gooder than it was before”. Perhaps losing the burden of keeping up the dreams of other people and changing my world to fit theirs is finally giving me the chance to be me. As the minutes tick away on the Chivas Regal-Seattle Sounders game being played in the background I feel the first wave of sleepiness hit me. There is a great story about to be told but it can wait until tomorrow.