He oozed with geniusosity. His power point presentation was slick and incorporated many easy to remember phrases. It was laden with images of American flags and various scenes of America that reassured me that if he was in charge all would be well. The obvious corollary to that statement is that if he was not in charge things would not go well at all. He used big words.
My heart swelled with patriotism, pride and hunger. I was very hungry, far more hungry than prideful or patriotic. I started chewing on the edge of my pen. The huger wouldn’t go away. Rather, in a way that reminded me of when Pac-Man would eat the little dots, the hunger ate the pride and patriotism until there was pretty much hunger and no patriotism and pride left, just hunger, and bits of half chewed pen. There was something else bothering me. Well besides the hunger.
I looked at Richard’s power point and realized that while the words were big and definitely created by a man of sheer geniusosity, they actually didn’t mean much. They sounded cool. And I could easily see them fitting on a poster especially the one word monosyllabic ones. However I found out that I could not fill my stomach with the inspiring phrases, even the impressive monosyllabic ones.
Despair was joining this feeling of hunger. They seemed to get along very well.
I raised my hand. A rather burly and mean looking guard pointed at a sign with his nightstick.The sign simply read “NO ASKING QUESTIONS”. I looked at Richard with a look that would elicit sympathy from a injured puppy. Richard looked at me. Beads of sweat went down his forehead. He pointed at screen with the power point display on the white screen. I shook my head no. He pointed out just how impressive his suit was. I shook my head no.
I tried to explain to him that I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything in the morning because I thought I would be listening to Janis Joplin and eating ice cream and right now I would be happy listening to Linkin Park and eating instant noodles. He then asked if I had been paying attention to his power point presentation. I said yes. I then pointed out it was nice and everything and I was quite afraid what would happen to the universe if he had never been born and how the natural order of things would simply cease to exist without him . None of these facts would change the fact that I am quite hungry.
Richard stroked his beard. He pondered things for a moment. He inquired if I had seen the slogans. The slogans ,he pointed out ,were very clever. I nodded in agreement. They were clever. I read them in many children books. Obvious the children’s books, much like the interweb, never lied. I had this in my handy “How to be a Self-proclaimed Spokesman for Generation X” manual I downloaded from the interweb. Richard leaned closer. He whispered in my ear that he had a secret to tell me. I am weary of secrets but he dressed like a smart guy so I who would I be to ignore his secrets.
For several minutes I listened to him stammer and mumble and then finally he got to the point. He pointed out that all his slogans were edible, even the ones on the T-shirts. I turned to him and pointed out that I know that words are edible because I always sometimes ate my own words. But they weren’t filling and they tasted bad.
Richard had enough. He pointed towards the door. If I couldn’t appreciate him then it was obvious I was against him and he ordered the burly guard to throw me out of the room. As the guard led me out by my ear I pleaded with Richard. I wasn’t particularly against him I was just wanted something to eat. A piece of bread or a pizza or even an old sock would be okay I was just terribly hungry.
I rubbed my ear and stood in front of door. I could hear Richard hollering something about me be being the reason society was falling apart. He wasn’t the first person to say that to me today.
To be continued…again…