Selling imaginary things is the quickest way to becoming rich. If you are not sure ask Bernie Madoff, Lehman Brothers and the airline industry. All of them, especially the airline industry , were simply exercising their god given constitutional right to make a profit. As the unofficial self declared spokesman for Generation X , I applaud this brilliant initiative. I have long contended that I deserve to make a real salary based on imaginary work. After hearing from the ticket lady at one of the airline ticketing desks, apparently they agree also. I got bumped from a seat that never was actually mine to begin with (well I had paid for it, they took my money and issued me a ticket...but it was never mine, it was just a reservation for a seat when one eventually becomes available should they ever decide to give it to me) and at first I was a little annoyed but when the lovely ticket lady so nicely told me, in a tone used for animals when they do their business on the floor, the airlines have to make money and sometimes that means they have to sell imaginary seats.
I can understand the problem. Americans have been thus far quite unpatriotic when it comes to airline industry welfare-programs. Airlines introduced baggage fees and Americans brought less baggage. Airlines introduced fees for snacks and Americans brought their own snacks on board. Airlines occasionally let passengers sit in the sweltering heat of a tarmac for hours on end without any snacks or water and how did the ungracious passengers react? The complained to the FAA and their congressmen and now the long suffering airlines look to lose a couple hundred dollars worth of bottled water every time the planes get stuck on the tarmac. It is time for the airline industry to say "AMERICA WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SELFISH ATTITUDE!".
I would propose that the way to solve the problem is to introduce a mandatory airline fee for everyone who flies fewer than ten flights a year. If America wants good service they should have to pay for it, and if they don't ever use it, it is their fault. The fee would be paid for by every man woman and child who fails to fly the minimum number of flights. After they reach ten flights the person would receive a discount of $1000 dollars off the "haven't taken a flight" fee and after 20 flights the average American would find themselves not needing to pay any special tax.
Some of my cynical fellow Americans will ask "Why don't the airlines just become more efficient and not use business models that were designed by lobotomized jelly fish" . To them I simply say "You obviously don't love America."
So what if Asian and middle eastern airlines have been making profits for years on end and have been improving services to attract new customers. This is not about them, it is about America. It is about making sure that the CEO's of every major American company get the outrageous benefits they were destined to receive by powers we cannot even fathom with our small minds. From 2007-2010 America has officially discarded its ideals of being a country for the people and by the people and has adopted a far more efficient kleptocracy ...erm... I mean aristocratic form of government. If America could just stop it's whining about "cowboy capitalism" and "business leaders who are probably as dumb as they are unethical" then no one would be whining about anything. Therefore , since no one would have any proof they were upset, everyone would be much happier.
Josh is not an airline industry expert nor did he ever play one on TV. However he did spend 19 hours in transit from Vancouver to Houston, which was nearly enough time to fly from New York to Los Angeles to New York to Los Angeles (although he doesn't particularly like either place enough to visit them once...much less twice) . He claims to be the self declared unofficial spokesman for Generation X, but to be honest; he doesn't even know what those words mean.