The rainbow’s colors bounced and skipped and generally frolicked on the wall. The sun, with it’s life giving rays of heat and light shone through the window. I sat in my chair and looked on the floor. Then I looked at the wall. It was interesting that a scene of such destruction. The sun shone through the window and reflected off the shattered glass of life. The happy rainbows a cruel reminder of god’s supposed covenant never to cause utter destruction again.
The sheer brutality in any sort of abuse is not the initial violation of the human spirit. It lies in a child that mother must raise despite every cry , despite every moment being moment that is supposed to be joyful turning into a painful reminder of the worst kind. It is the broken spirit that remains long after the bruises and broken bones have healed.
One day I will unknow the events that got me to this place. I will go to Adam and Eve and tell them that knowledge is overrated and quite dangerous. I will suggest the tree of learning to them because it is so much better than the tree of knowledge. Knowledge is so much more than we imagine. It is astrophysics It is the Red Sox winning the 2004 World Series. However, knowledge is terrible things as well. Knowledge knows that a homeless man got to that position by losing what Warren Buffet once referred to as the “Womb Lottery”. It is a child who lives just long enough to draw her first breath and then dies. Knowledge is a double edged sword and both sides can be used for evil.
It is not enough to forget.Forgetting is merely the absence of remembering. The space is still occupied and there is not enough room to put something good and pure in it. Unknowing opens up that space, it gives you a room to breathe and fill it with something good.
Unknowing is the an amazing antidote. It is the sign of strength that cannot be measured. It is being reborn into something so much more beautiful an amazing then you were before. You have earned your wings, you have left Gehenna, you have reached a certain level of enlightment even if there is no guardian diety in your life.
Unknowing is not easy. It goes against nature. It goes against many millennium of evolution. It is difficult, but possible. I am looking forward to it more than anything before. No more being afraid. No more having writing with a riptide of sadness swirling around. I watch the rainbows dance on the wall of my room “My bad” they say to me “I forgot my promise” they pause and wait for a response. I smile. An agreement is made. An agreement so ancient , so fundamental that no words are needed to seal the deal . They chirp and bounce in excitement. It is time to move on, it is time to write beautiful stories of little to no worth other than they make people smile. It is time to live life.