I sat down to write this blog and then I got the hiccups. I was thinking about exposing the government’s corruption in . . . hic . . . what was I saying . . . hic.
Now I have lost my train . . . hic . . . of thought, but I could write about the . . . hic . . . hiccups, which are a quick, involuntary inhalation that follows a spasm . . . hic . . . of the diaphragm and is suddenly checked, or stopped, by closure of the . . . hic . . . glottis, producing a short, relatively sharp sound . . . hic . . . just like that one.
Maybe I should discuss . . . hic . . . how to get rid of the hiccups instead.
I could hold my breath . . . hic . . . for 25 seconds . . . . . . . . . . . . . hic . . . but that didn’t do any good.
Let me drink this . . . hic . . . glass of water while holding my . . . hic . . . nose. That will surely get rid of these . . . hic . . . hiccups.
Aaah! That must have done it . . . hic. Damn.
I could look in the mirror and try to . . . hic . . . scare myself out of the hiccups.
Oooh. That was ugly . . . hic . . . and it didn’t work either.
Maybe I could . . . hic . . . stand on one leg and jump backwards three times right after having sex . . . no that is how a woman can keep from getting pregnant, right?
I can’t think of anything else that might stop my hiccups . . . . . . hey wait a minute. I don’t think I have them anymore. Eureka! That is it. Thinking about sex is a cure for the hiccups.
Can I get a patent on that or something?
Causes John Haslam Supports
I support the Constitution of the United States of America.
I support St. Jude's Hospital.
I believe in GOD.