Paranoia by John Braun

10% of profits will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.

$15.70

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So, the Giants won week 2 last night at the Dallas Cowboys' debut of their new billion dollar stadium. All is right with the world.

At least that's what you think until you stumble upon something like McDowell Mountain Ranch Real Estate and realize, wow, there is a simpler world out there than the rat-race of the northeast. I mean, I could be an Arizona Cardinals fan, right?

Okay, not so much. And, yes, I'm sure it's a 'grass is always greener' scenario. Kind of like when I was thinking about moving to Florida. Sure it was great when we were there, but that's because I didn't have to work for the week. I got to spend as much time as I wanted with the family. I got to be lazy in the pool, or playing cards, or going out to eat.

That wouldn't be reality though - in Florida or Arizona. For one thing, I'd have to have a job and, knowing me, I'd be miserable living through a 70 or 80 degree Christmas. So, I guess I stay here, which isn't so bad. I want my kids to grow up knowing New York City, Philadelphia, the Jersey Shore, just like I did. Not to mention, of course, that the entire family is here.

It would just be nice if we didn't lead the country in taxes and corruption here in the good ol' Garden State. Seriously, I'm competitive, but, I could live without those two claims to fame. It would be nice if we had a gubernatorial candidate who was willing to share his ideas with the rest of us.

Disclaimer - I LOVE saying gubernatorial.

That's the problem with New Jersey. Most people who live here will tell you that they love living here, even the people who flee the state on a daily basis. They just can't afford to live here anymore. Homes and property that have been in families for generations are being sold at discount prices, families are being torn apart, long time friends are accepting the fact that they'll just have to remain Facebook friends as the exodus continues.

And yet, somehow, Governor Corzine is saying that we should re-elect him because he was the first Governor in the nation to have an economic disaster preparedness plan. He says he has given more property tax relief than any other Governor!

Well, I'll be Mr. Corzine that's amazing...but did you take into account all the Governors who didn't give relief because, um, well, they don't have to? Did you think about all the states whose tax collectors don't resemble the prison yard alpha-male? In other words, did you think that maybe you gave the most property tax relief (um...by the way, not to me or most people I know) because you have more of our money than any other Governor has of his or her constituents?

I'm starting to realize, Governor, just why you're refusing to debate Chris Christie. Every time you open your mouth something stupid comes out - something that proves just how out of touch you are with the rest of us.

Careful, Governor. Apparently the President told Governor Patterson across the river there not to run in the gubernatorial (heh-heh) race next year because his approval ratings are so low. I don't think yours are much better. I'm just waiting for you to get that call from your 'friend in the White House'. Meanwhile, I'd like to offer you some advice.

You don't mind, do you? No? Good.

Being as you told us that if we wanted a really low unemployment rate we could go to North Dakota, I would say the same works for you. I would be willing to bet that if you decided to permanently leave New Jersey and move to North Dakota, we'd give you really high approval ratings. Just a thought.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.