Making Love Out of Nothing At All
Original blog posted at: http://www.dreamersforest.com/apps/blog/
In my last blog I wrote that Dr. Seuss was a favorite author. Another favorite is Shakespeare.
One might think that because I love romance and Shakespeare that "Romeo & Juliet" would be a favorite love story of mine. It isn't.
Some might think this is blasphemy, but I don't think it a great love story at all. It is an "Obsession Story".
To me, the whole "I would rather die than live without you" thing is not about true love. That shows weakness. It implies neediness and a life that would otherwise be without a purpose. I don't think that makes a strong and healthy relationship. And a true love story should be about a love that is strong and healthy.
A true love makes a person strong. A true love does not make a person needy and dependant.
"Titanic" (and again some may consider this blasphemy) was never a favorite movie of mine. I am sorry, but I like for my love stories to have both characters alive at the end ... and go on living happily ever after.
However, what I DID like about "Titanic" was the message of true love. The love between Rose and Jack was a real love. Because it DID make them strong. Had that been Romeo and Juliet in the cold ocean that night, Juliet would have been weak and died right there with Romeo. Romeo would not have told Juliet to hold on and keep living.
Jack gave Rose a beautiful message about love. Rose LIVED for their love. She held on to what they had and BECAUSE of it she had a full life, a fulfilled life. Her life was filled with accomplishment and love.
Living for your lover, not killing youself over you lover is a sign of TRUE LOVE.
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About JoElle
JoElle Martín was born in Western Oregon. She has since lived in Guadalajara México, Texas, and the San Francisco Bay Area. She currently resides in Northern Nevada with her husband of over 20 years.
When JoElle isn't writing she likes to go hiking,...
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Yes
How about love as a trap?
JoElle, Very thoughtful. I
JoElle,
Very thoughtful. I have to agree whole heartedly.
Hi my friend! hmmm!
I would say true love is living happily in tandem with each other.
I never saw Titanic, I don't like the story so much, the movie, or the Celine Dion songs . . .?? 1 or all of the above.
I guess I regard Romeo and Juliet as a story about clans and passing judgment. I seem to avoid the romance in the story. I think I am not romantic, more of a cynic!
But I definitely agree that a person should never kill themselves due their love for another.
Agreed
Certainly I agree that a "good" love ought make us strong. Don't you think perhaps Romeo and Juliet were not able to survive without each other because they were very young? They had not had time to think things through in life. (They hadn't survived the first love that broke their hearts and let them go on to love again like most teenagers today experience.) Nor did they seem to have an adult purpose or vocation in life -- other than having the mate of their choice. Of course, maybe their deaths was to teach the adults the harm of trying to over-control young people. Usually I think people are better off to mature before they choose a life partner. However, I have known some very successful youthful marriages and some very unsuccessful marriages of people who were older. I do think a successful second marriage after a mate dies does reflect well on the first marriage. If the person who died rally loved the spouse, he/she would have wanted the mate to be happy in a second marriage.
But let's face it, Romeo and Juliet gave us a very interesting play. I wouldn't want to change it. Ha.
Well now I have...
that old Air Supply song in my head!
I think you are right on with R&J as an obsession story, not a love story.
Jennifer Gibbons, Red Room
A story of suppression
JoElle, I agree with you that Romeo and Juliet is an "Obsession story." But it's also a story of suppression that keeps happening in so-called civil society even today. While the message that R&J conveys is negative, it's also true that young lovers sometimes resort to the extreme step, because their elders and so-called social norms drive them to taking their lives. Honour killings in which elders would even kill their own offspring to save the honour of the family when their children have relationships or marry outside the religion or caste is not unheard of even today. Perhaps, if R&J was not a tragedy it would not have moved readers as it has all these years.
Yes, I agree that true love is mature and strong. You can depend on your partner, but that doesn't imply dependance. Life must go on even when there is separation, through death or for other reasons.
Personally, I wouldn't like anyone whom I know to be in an R&J situation. But then we ought to remember that it's the negativism and oppression in society that breeds Romes and Juliets.
Making love out of nothing at all
JoElle,
You make sense in what you wrote. Love, and true love can be one of the same or quite different. Often the word "like" should be used instead of love. The word love is used too much without thought. "I love this peach." "I love this movie," "I love you for doing that."
Good thought provoking post.
the word "love" doesn't mean that much anymore
Like Abe, I too feel that the word "love" is used much too often, and I include myself in that list of using too often. We need to start using the word like. That would be good.
You pegged the meaning of TRUE love...
I have to say that I agree with you totally. Love that causes a person to die, or decide that he or she cannot live without someone, is not really love, but a pathological condition that betrays that person's weakness and lack of self-esteem. I wonder sometimes if the Bard, in writing Romeo and Juliet, wasn't really trying to illustrate the folly of anger and prejudic rather than love. I for one, like you, have never thought of Romeo and Juliet as a 'love' story.
Those who have that view will probably be upset by your stance on this, but like the course of true love, you have to be true to yourself.
Great blog.
Charlie
Thank you for your excellent
Thank you for your excellent comments! All of you have added so much to this with your thoughts and observations!
"Romeo & Juliet" does fall under 'Shakespeare's Tragedy' label. And I agree, I think his story was more about feuding families and the tragic result of their hatred. But it seems the play is more often thought of as a 'great love story'.
I also agree that love (and hate) are two very strong and meaningful words that are used too much and too loosely when a less strong word, and more accurate word such as like, enjoy, or admire (or dislike, don't care for, have an aversion to)would be more accurate. It seems the reason these stronger words are often used for dramatic effect by the person using the word.
You guys are the best!
~ JoElle
www.dreamersforest.com
Love and Hate
JoElle.
The opposite of love is hate. What turns love into hate? I don't have the answer, but I have seen it happen.
We most often associate love with romance. As one grows older, romance is not the focus. Caring and companionship is another form of love that takes center stage.
Loving and being "in love" are not always the same. I can tell someone I love them and mean it, but it doesn't mean that I am in love with them in a romantic way.