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The World According to Midge

Although my mother passed away almost three years ago, Ally has very vivid memories of her. 

She remembers dancing with her.  She remembers when my mother used to sing to her.  She remembers her, and I am grateful.   

My mother told me when she was re-diagnosed with cancer that her biggest wish was to see Midge start school.   As the time gets closer for this big event in her life, moments of remembering my mother are closer together and conversations about her more frequent. 

We recently celebrated Ally’s birthday, and I gave her a new bike.  I watched as she rode it last night up and down the driveway just as proud as she could be.  What an enormous step of independence.   

My son called her for dinner, and I watched as she parked the bike and then walked back down driveway.  There she stood facing away from the house.  Just standing.

I yelled to her to come for dinner – she ignored me.  I yelled again – and nothing.  

I made my way down the driveway to find Ally quietly standing there, tears streaming down her face. 

When I asked her what was wrong she replied,  

“nothing”  

to which the standard mom response is –  

“honey, you just don’t cry over nothing… what’s the matter?” 

she then asked me… quietly….   

“mama, am I still in Nana’s heart?….” 

Silence. 

“Of course you are Ally, nanny loved you very, very much.”  I choked out.   

She hugged me tight and grabbed my hand.  We walked up the driveway in silence. 

With moments like these more customary, I truly believe that my mother is here and watching. 

She is watching and waiting for Ally to start school.  

It’s what she wanted, and I know my mother….   

She wouldn’t miss it for anything.  

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