What does it mean when your get up and go got up and went?
Am I tired?
Am I depressed?
Am I bored?
Life's changes tend to send us in a tailspin and, much like childbirth, after the storm, the quiet tends to put us in a funk that is quite unexplainable.
In February, I faced an upheaval that tossed me out of my lakeside apartment in Fort Lauderdale into a townhouse that I shared with my friend, the owner. For six months, my belongings lay in storage, while I figured out where I was going, next.
From July 3-27, I traveled to Italy and Switzerland on a mission to promote my non-profit organization and to visit old friends I hadn't seen in 18 years. That was a voyage I hadn't anticipated in February but it was great to get out of the country and visit two of my favorite places in the world.
Upon my return to Florida, I began my 9th PhD course, after a three month sabbatical. Getting back to the books took a little determination on my part but I managed to accrue three A's out of three papers. Now, on my fourth paper about target marketing in this Brand Marketing class, I find myself bored and almost listless.
I moved 30 miles north to Delray Beach, FL, to a very pristine and quiet neighborhood that I totally love but rain deterred me from walking for the past three weeks and, today, when the sun is shining, I have no motivation to get out there and walk. Just lazy, I guess.
I am feeling sluggish. Don't want to do much and I guess that's OK, considering all that I've done since the beginning of the year. Fall is approaching and I'm ready to snuggle with my pillow like a bear in hibernation, which is uncommon in Florida, since the weather never gets that cold, here.
So, how do I get motivated, again?
Who can inspire me?
I've written 10 books, managed a non-profit for almost 7 years, done a lot of traveling, and successfully completed 8.5 PhD courses. Am I an over-achiever? Am I in a slump? Do I have writer's fatigue?
As a jazz vocalist and composer, I'm in the frame of mind to retire from performance, altogether. I don't want to go out and find a gig. I don't want to rehearse with my band. I don't want to promote, promote, promote.
I guess, at 65, I'm really ready to retire but I know I am just too young for that.
What is the answer?
Am I fatigued, depressed or just bored?