Stop Light Fire Drill

 There is a point in a teenager’s life when parents become annoying and embarrassing by dancing at parties at home or just by being parents. When my mother got on the stop light fire drill kick—jumping out of the car at stop lights, running around the car and jumping back inside—all I wanted to do was crawl under the seats. I was a dignified teenager and far too mature for silly games. Mom should have been more dignified and mature, but she wasn’t, and that little bit of fun came back to bite her in the backside.

                                                                                 The Crying Machine

My nephew, Anthony, is fourteen and has decided never to have children. He has seen the enemy and he doesn’t want to go back and study parenting any more. Why?  He enrolled in family studies.

In family studies teenagers learn about interpersonal relationships, fighting fair, negotiating the emotional white water rapids of home life, and caring for children by carrying around an egg or a five-pound bag of sugar. This supposedly teaches them the responsibility and how having a baby feels. With computer technology, the days of eggs and bags of sugar are gone; lifelike dolls have taken their place.

Girls usually choose the dolls. Boys choose simpler tasks – like cooking or writing a paper, caring for a hamster or a plant. Anthony is an unusual boy. He plays sports, but he’s not a fanatic. Given the choice, he would rather read a book, play computer games, or just watch television. Anthony chose the doll.