I bet you think that title is a typo, don't you? Well, it's not. I DO have demons that I need to exorcise, but the only thing I have found that sends them running is exercise.
Most of you know my sad-sack tale. I lost my job in June. In August, I came to Phoenix to live with my boyfriend and pursue my job search from here, away from the expensive and soul-crushing fray called LA. But my children remained there because I knew in my heart they needed to be in their school, with their friends, at their church, on their swim team. I'm happy to report, they don't seem to miss me that much and have gone about their normal little pre-teen lives. They text me, sometimes they call me (not usually), they ask when I can come to visit and take them shopping.
Me, on the other hand....well, let's say without my job that I loved so dearly and my girls, whom I love even more, I feel a bit without purpose. Of course, I fill my time by writing, reading, job-searching, running around, but I still find I wake up most mornings feeling sorry for myself and rather poo-ish. My demons whisper in my ear what a loser I am, how terrible everything is.
I've been going to my friend Tammy's Jazzercise class in Scottsdale as often as I can. She's a fun instructor who makes exercise seem not so bad. The class is full of high-energy music and Tammy talks practically non-stop about anything from her dating life, to the heat, to her kids. She's a powerhouse and I love her madly.
So yesterday, I get up with the demons whispering, get dressed, slog off to Starbucks, then head to class. Those demons were really doing a number on me yesterday. I was incredibly blue to the point of tears. Everything was wrong. Pity party of one. But somewhere between the Foreigner routine and the Chaka Khan routine, I realized I was smiling. I was having fun. No demons, no self-pity, nothing but me jabbing, grape-vining, knee-upping and kick-ball-changing. The sweat was flying off of me like that scene from Flashdance. And I felt peaceful.
I woke up this morning in a much brighter mood. I'm sore as hell, but it's quiet today....no self-defeating whispers, no inner grumblings. Hmmm, maybe there is something to this notion that exercise makes you feel better emotionally. All I know is, there's a class at 4:30pm today and I'm going to go kickbox some demon ass.