You’re doing all the right things, right? You’re eating healthier and getting some exercise. You’re finding healthy ways to de-stress. And you’re evaluating your progress and tweaking your plans when you need to.
But are you being nice to yourself? I mean REALLY nice? Or do you look in the mirror and say horrible things to your reflection. Things like “oh sure, I’ve lost 5 lbs. Too bad it wasn’t from my fat ass.” Or, “I’m such a cow. How could anyone stand to look at me?”
Step 7 is a command. LOVE YOURSELF MORE. Do you really think your negative thoughts and comments are supportive to your weight loss?
Imagine that you are a child. An overweight child. And everyday, there is some mean little girl or boy on the playground that says hurtful things about you; about your appearance; about your weight. Your friends might stand up for you. You might even stand up for yourself. But those terrible words linger in your mind and you recount them over and over again. Then, one day, a little thought creeps in that tells you that mean little boy or girl is right about you. You are fat and ugly and no one will ever like you. You start to believe it. It starts to become who you are.
Now, take a step back and watch that child. Watch how that poor child starts to crumble inside. Watch how the light fades from her eyes. Watch how he stops trying to play ball so no one will laugh at him. Don’t you want to scoop this child up and whisper that none of that stuff is true? Don’t you want to give this child all the love and compassion in the world?
That child is you.
Stop the negative talk and thoughts in their tracks. The second you start to say or think something degrading and mean about yourself, I want you to say STOP right out loud. Then, I want you to look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that you are loved. That you are worth it. That you will get there.
Here is something I wrote once, on a bad, sad day when I felt like nothing would be right ever again.
This person I’ve become is a child. How would I treat my own child if she were feeling so sad? Undoubtedly with great love and compassion. What if it’s just that simple? What if it’s as simple as the choice to love myself? Just an act of blessed kindness to a soul in need. Would I judge the worthiness of that compassion if it were someone else?
The only choice that makes any sense is acceptance. To be able to say “today, I am here and I will let myself be happy where I am, as I am. I will let myself be happy so that I can spread joy and not sorrow; so that I can be a light in someone else’s darkness; so that I can free myself to help others, to love more deeply, to sow kindness. I will love and accept myself. I will turn to face the sun and forgive myself. Every day. I will choose love.
Oh, sure…I can tell you to get a mani/pedi or a massage; to buy yourself something pretty; to call a friend. All these things can lift your spirits, for sure. But lasting change MUST come from within.
It is quite possible that your weight problems started when you stopped loving yourself and started telling yourself how dreadful you are. To make a lasting change in your health, you need to rekindle the love of YOU.
Close your eyes. Fill your mind with new, loving thoughts of how great you are doing; of what an accomplishment it is to even start this journey; see the person you want to be, not as a distant dream, but as the person you already are. Someone who is strong, beautiful, healthy, fearless. That’s you. Don’t let go of that thought. Never, ever.