The beginning of our lives seems to condense like bouillon into cubes. It's small, short time and yet it's resonate and heavy with flavor. No matter where we go and despite hours and perhaps years of therapy, we can easily slip into that soupy past.
It all seems so long ago, and yet as I told my former classmates last night, "When our minds go, we will be back with each other again. These will be the memories we have."
That will be our present. The past is always the present as we live, but we managed to forget it sometimes. When our minds go, the past will be all there is.
And I think of it this way. I will be about seven, sitting on the steps of the baby pool at Orinda park Pool, waiting for my workout. I will be with Pam, Barb, Connie, Liz, Sue, Tish, Jennifer. We will be wearing black speedo suits. The fog will roll back, exposing the sunlight.
I will be at Libby's house. Connie's house. Michelle's house. We are watching TV or playing a game or laughing. Lots of laughing.
I will be outside somewhere in Orinda, running. Maybe it is night. Maybe we are tee-peeing someone's house, a cute boy's house, imagining this horrible mess is some kind of gift. It's scary and exciting. There are no street lights, and the May flies are the size of baby birds. We run back to where we are saying and laugh all night.
I will be at a slumber party. We tell stories. We practice levitation. We freeze people's bras. We put sleeping people's hands in warm water, just to see what will happen. We eat bags of chocolate candy.
I will be at the Orinda theater watching a movie, any movie, talking to my friends in whispers. We go to Loard's ice cream. We have triple scoop cones.
I will be at Stinson beach. We all arrived in Chris' truck. We are in the water, watching Brad in the waves. it's cold, but the sun will be coming out soon.
If I am here, in any of these memories, I will be happy to stay there. My later life has been so rich and so wonderful, but if it goes, I will have all this, these times, these people I have known for so many years, and know episodically now.
The past will be present enough.
Causes Jessica Inclán Supports
Women for Women International Goodwill Industries Lindsey Wildlife Museum Freecycle.org