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The Horror of Buying Jeans
bibliomaniac
Amazon.com Amazon.com
Powell's Books Powell's Books

The trauma of my day was that I had to buy some jeans.  Yes, it had been a good three years since I struggled to put my plump thigh into a new tube of denim, and I thought it would be swell to go do it today.  It was time.  I'd been putting it off long enough, and the rear of two pair were a bit thin.  When one's underwear are visible, it's time to go shopping.

So off I went to Macy's for a quick in and out session of shopping.  I had to be on time for a haircut, so I forced a time issue.  One half hour max. 

I made it to the second floor and began to circle.  Strangely, all the clothing had been rearranged since my last visit.  Where were my jeans?  The ones I know well?  The ones I do not have to try on?  I didn't want to feel the tight tube of denim, so I had to keep looking.  I had no idea where anything was, so I began my search, discovering all sorts of things to love, everything black.  I always buy black clothing.  And jeans.  Okay, I thought, keeping hold of the black shirt.  Maybe just one black thing.

Back at it, I scoured the floor, finding in the farthest corner my brand.  But my brand seemed to have been down sized.  My brand seems to be--horrors--Mom jeans.

Alas, I dug through the pile, finding only one pair in my size.  I held it up against my body.  Looks fine, I thought, trying to find a pool of denial to jump into.

I circled again, deciding that I needed to find something not black.  Search, I encouraged myself.  Search.

Finally, at the last minute, I found a red sweater!  Yay! something not black.  I bought it and a black shirt and a pair of jeans I will likely return because they don't fit.  But you know, at least I can put my plump thigh into the tube of denim here at home.

Some things just need a load of privacy.

Jessica

Comments
4 Comment count
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Enjoy your red sweater!

Impossible to find a properly fitting pair of jeans in the UK without spending upwards of 120GBP (which I'm loath to do - will still have to chop them!) What on earth has happened to shape and size in the last five years or so? Seems to bear no relation to former measurements.

Suspect that manufacturers are patronising an adipose 'pool of denial'!

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Rosy--The good news is that

Rosy--The good news is that I found a pair that fit, and I did it in record time.  I gave myself a half hour, and they were on sale from 90 US dollars to 38.95!  I mean, I felt very virtuous due to both successes!  And the red sweater rocks.

But you are right.  The sizes are weird, the lowness of the waist something I am sure we will all make fun of in decades to come.

Best,

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Next time, for jeans, try

Next time, for jeans, try SLASH, 2840 College Ave. Berkeley, Ca, a half block north of Ashby. One room. Underground. The owner (and staff) will, with one look, have sized you and pulled what you should have. Worked for me.

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Never heard of it, but now I

Never heard of it, but now I have.  Next horrible time, I will try SLASH!  But Bob, seriously, a man and a woman buying jeans?  A completely different story.

Thanks for the rec.

Best,

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com