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The Health Circle of Hell
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I've revealed more about my health than anyone really wants to know, but I find the conundrums of medical science to be both marvelously bizarre and a pain in the kidney.

My uterine issues led by ob/gyn to prescribe the killer, monster 7 dollar-a-pill pill.  I was scared to take it, as the side effects were worse than death.  My doctor sister shook her head and said, "I don't take medications until they've been approved and out for at least 15 years."

Once, when she was in medical school, she participated in a drug study.  The medication gave her an atomic migraine, and she had to quit.  She only was paid half the amount she was offered, and she still is angry--about the money and the migraine.

The monster pill is so new that my GP had no idea what it was.  Fifteen years?  Try three days.

In any case, I took it, despite the 18 pages of warning notes and my sister's lecture.  A miracle!  The pain stopped; the drug hadn't the side effects of vicodin or any other opiate, meaning, i was conscious and not throwing up.

During this two weeks of miracle-like pain relief, I ended up with the flu, and while at my GP's office, and she decided to give me a slew of tests, one involving kidney function.  Turns out, my function was about at the level of stage 3 chronic kidney disease.

I had to stop the pill immediately.  I had the flu, my kidneys were shot, my uterus felt like it was a mining company.

A couple of kidney tests later, I was back amongst the living.  But I am not allowed to ever, ever, ever again take NASIDS, or your basic ibuprofen. 

Meanwhile, back at the uterus, it started to feel just fine, dandy.  In fact, it was saying, "I'm a really good uterus.  I want to stay.  Don't take me out, please.  Anything but that.  Not that, pleeeease!"

I have a while to wait for that operation, so I'll just take daily notes on uterine behavior.  A field study, as it were.  I don't trust that sneaky uterus any more, and I am going to take all its whinging under advisement.

After the three weeks it took to stop coughing, I released my secondary infections to the wind, and I'm healthy. 

This is a minor health issue, but a royal pain in the ass.  And there has to be a pill for that.

2 Comment count
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The first person to tell me

The first person to tell me "Old age is not for sissies" was my father. (He attributed the line to Bette Davis but I have not double-checked to see if that is correct.) In any event, the older I -- and my contemporaries -- have become, the more I have had that line delivered to me. I have not yet -- knock on wood -- had to deliver it myself, and I certainly do not mean to imply you are "old," but it is becoming more and more apparent to me that a great number of "pills" I expected science to have waiting for me are not going to be on hand.

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I am getting very old, and I

I am getting very old, and I know it! So don't worry, I get the message and it sadly rings true.

Jessica Barksdale Inclan