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Proper Court Room Etiquette
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I am wondering how I will be able to go into court on Monday with my son and not stand up and start saying rude things to the judge and the squat little prosecutor.  You know, like having mother-syndrome-Tourette's.

     "You are a Goddamn idiot," kinds of comments that will ruin my son's chances and put me in contempt of court and possibly in the same holding cell my son was in last time I was in that courtroom.

When people I love are under attack, I have this issue with defensiveness, .  Those who attack my loved ones are automatically idiots.  Sorry, it sounds tribal and rude, but it's true.  I will defend you to the death, loved ones, sorry if it makes your life harder.  I will embarrass you and fight for your rights, even if you don't want them.  I will always be on your side, even if you are wrong.

I will write letters, make phone calls, tell people they are absolutely, positively incorrect about everything.

I might come to my senses later, but by then, both of us will be in trouble.

I'm thinking I need to take some Benadryl or a jug of Thunderbird or something with me to calm me down.  Or maybe I should just sit out in the hallway and try to hear what comes from under the door.  That's how I watch scary movies, and it works well enough.  When I'm in a movie theatre, I  put the heels of my palms over my eyes and my fingers in my ears, and manage to figure out enough about the plot to know what's going on and just enough of what's not going on to remain in my seat.

Okay, so the woman in the back row covering her ears and her eyes will be me.  If I know what happens Monday, I'll pass it on!

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Court

.25 mg of Xanax and a companion to go with me (to center me in the courtroom) has always helped me avoid the contempt thing (and I have come damn close!) when I act as an expert witness. Becaue regardless of whether they are attacking you, your loved ones or any other witness, many of the lawyers are still idiots; I spend an inoridnate amount of time trying to figure out how some of them sleep at night. Sorry if I am offending anyone here.

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Man, I will need to borrow some drugs

Thanks for the prescription.  I will suss out some dope, and try to pull in a friend on this adventure.  Makes sense.  Someone has to watch over me!

Best,

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Court

Oh, and good luck!

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Thank you!

:)

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Reading this, laughed all

Reading this, laughed all the way through. I'm glad you are on my side.

A friend and I were arrested as teens for trespassing--going hot tubbing at a private club in the middle of the night. My friend's dad was a lawyer so he hired another lawyer to defend us in the judge's chamber. Judge Burley was really cool. He took one look at us and said, "Go forth and sin no more." Our punishment was to babysit a group of middle schoolers at an iceskating rink.

I feel for you. I know you joke but it will be nerve wracking. Your son's case is more complex than mine but hope you will find as nice and as humorous a judge as I did. You might be surprised to find that he's very sympathetic.

 

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Sadly, I've met the judge

And he's angry.  Not the nice judge of your younger years.

The babysitting punishment would be a good one for Mitchell.  All those kids might make him see the light!

And if you need me to make a fool of both of us, just let me know, and I'll get into attack mode!

Thanks, Belle.

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Rubydoo

has great suggestion about a companion to keep you centered. Good, good luck!!!

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Michael said he would go with me

But now I need the drugs!

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Try this answer

If the judge threatens you with contempt of court just say,

"Well, this court is contemptible."

I'd pay the extra fine just for the chance to say something like that. :)

eric

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I'll Second that

Hey Jessica,

I second Rubydo on the valium, and I wish you and your son good luck.

Hugs,

RG

 

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Thank you!

I am taking all good thoughts with me, and will swallow them with my valium and benadryl.

:)

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Hand Squeezing

This may be too late at this point (how did the trial go?), but when I was going into what I knew would be a difficult dinner (with whom will remain nameless), my fiance and I adopted a system where, instead of saying something wrong, we would squeeze each other's hand under the table. It definitely helped to prevent me from saying something I'd regret later.

- Heather Goyette, redroom.com