I am wondering how I will be able to go into court on Monday with my son and not stand up and start saying rude things to the judge and the squat little prosecutor.  You know, like having mother-syndrome-Tourette's.

     "You are a Goddamn idiot," kinds of comments that will ruin my son's chances and put me in contempt of court and possibly in the same holding cell my son was in last time I was in that courtroom.

When people I love are under attack, I have this issue with defensiveness, .  Those who attack my loved ones are automatically idiots.  Sorry, it sounds tribal and rude, but it's true.  I will defend you to the death, loved ones, sorry if it makes your life harder.  I will embarrass you and fight for your rights, even if you don't want them.  I will always be on your side, even if you are wrong.

I will write letters, make phone calls, tell people they are absolutely, positively incorrect about everything.

I might come to my senses later, but by then, both of us will be in trouble.

I'm thinking I need to take some Benadryl or a jug of Thunderbird or something with me to calm me down.  Or maybe I should just sit out in the hallway and try to hear what comes from under the door.  That's how I watch scary movies, and it works well enough.  When I'm in a movie theatre, I  put the heels of my palms over my eyes and my fingers in my ears, and manage to figure out enough about the plot to know what's going on and just enough of what's not going on to remain in my seat.

Okay, so the woman in the back row covering her ears and her eyes will be me.  If I know what happens Monday, I'll pass it on!