Right now, the steel-cut oats are on the range, my boyfriend is researching the price of a more natural clothing detergent, and I'm writing to you about Valentine's Day. Yes, I know that day isn't until Thursday, so relax: You have time to buy your chocolates.
But I was reading an essay in the NY Times Magazine this morning about internet dating, and I realized how thankful that I am for that (i.e., man in living room doing research on detergent). I teach at the college level, so back when I was newly single, my options were 22 year old men. Because I like my job quite a bit, I thought that dating my students would be counter-productive. That, plus they likely would think I'm way, way, hecka old. There were the very few set ups, the straggling random single men my friends knew, the three or four men I met while at the gym, the secretly still-married men out for a spin, and that was it. My prospects were over. The internet opened up the real dating pool, the people who were busy, had children, couldn't go out, and who also wanted to meet someone. Voilà! Of course, I had so many dates that I can't even begin to tell you about, things that were beyond pathetic, incidents of such hilarity and sadness--I was stood up once or twice (I always wondered if the men spotted me and ran for the hills!). But, with time, and effort, I met my dude in the living room. I'm happy.
Then there are those other people I love, those Valentines of mine, my boys. My mother, my boyfriend's daughters. My friends, those lovely women who have put up with me, especially during these past few years. I'm sending out candy Sweethearts to you in my mind! Love.
On Valentine's Day, I am reading from my latest romance Being With Him at Orinda Books. And it will be fun. But I think that Valentine's Day for me is about the heart and not the romance. It's about this great well of feeling and joy and peace. It's about the oatmeal on the range that seems to be about done, based on the lovely smell wafting into my office.
Causes Jessica Inclan Supports
Women for Women International Goodwill Industries Lindsey Wildlife Museum Freecycle.org