where the writers are
How to Behave in a Gym
Autumn Leaves.jpg

This has nothing at all to do with writing or reading or being smart (except if you are thinking it is smart to exercise, which it is, of course).  This blog entry is about what not to do at a gym, written by me, sometimes in the passive voice, because I get a little grumpy with all the New Year's resolution people at my gym.  This is my misanthropic moment.

1)  If you are dropping your weights on the floor with a huge bang after your set, you are lifting too much weight.  Put the weights away.  Slowly re-rack them.  Get something you can actually lift.  No one is impressed by your prowess if you are dumping 80 pound weights to the floor.

2) Stop talking.  Please stop talking.  I don't really want to know about your child's college experience or the fence you repaired last spring after the hurricane and flood.  I don't want to know about your dead dog and flat tire And don't sit on a piece of popular equipment and talk so that no one can use it.   Look at the person you want to talk to, walk over to him or her, and make a coffee date.  And then get to work, for god's sake.

3)  Pick up your towels, weights, water, sweatshirt, iPod, gloves and get them out of my way so I don't fall head over tea kettle onto the floor.

4) Do you really have to work in with me?  If we are the only two people on the floor, is this really the ONLY thing you can do, the thing that I am on?  Give me a little break, and come back in five minutes.  I promise I will be done.

5)If you are a trainer, please don't think that because you are trying to do your job, you can tie up three pieces of equipment for your client.  Yes, you are working.  But we would all like to get our workouts done, too.

Because I am trying to spare you, I won't go into locker room behavior.  I won't even dare to talk about what to do and what not to do in the dry sauna (please, don't make me tell you). 

This misanthropic moment is now over.