You know, I was trying to be all Zen about answering emails and everything, but inside, mind you, I'm still roiling with complaints about the universe.
My good walking partner had a card on her dashboard yesterday, and when she opened her car door and I demanded Advil from her, I saw it. There it was: "Love and Gratitude."
My ass, I thought.
Okay, I felt better after three pills and a long walk and a huge catharsis on my part that lasted half the walk (we split bitch sessions), but things were just chaffing my hide.
The first pissed-off-ness was about reviews. Yes, I know we authors are supposed to take them in stride and just let all the words run off us like water on a duck's back (need I say "my ass" again?). Mostly, though, I am able to breathe in and out and move on because after 12 novels, I've had my share of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
But because I do giveaways on certain reader sites, I open up the door for reviews that I wouldn't get otherwise. A recent review was by a seemingly gentle reader, who accidentally entered the giveaway contest, not realizing that The Beautiful Being is a romance. She hates romance. Worse yet, she hadn't read the first two novels in the trilogy because, yes, she hates romance and would never have bothered to do so. But she said she would post a review on the boards on the giveaway site and elsewhere because that's what the givewawy is about and she held up her end of the bargain.
The review was full of the "I don't like this genre" and went on to show that she had no idea why my characters were doing what they did or why they were the way they were, all of which were a result of action that had been going on for two novels prior. She was also very irritated about certain mythological permutations and certain motifs. Two stars out of five.
Worse yet, she indicated that she was going to read the second book I sent her as a gift. I had this wacky notion that a person who entered into a romance book giveaway wouldn't mind another one. More egregious is that I sent her the third book in the first trilogy.
Can't wait for that review.
Listen, I've gotten two stars from people who like romance and who have read trilogies before, mine even. But I want two stars from them. It's a real thing. The uninformed two stars makes me take Advil.
On a completely different un-Zen note, what is with people who brake while driving? I'm not talking about braking while going down a hill or braking while driving through crowded city streets and looking for a parking space.
I'm talking about those boneheads driving on the freeway, one foot on the accelerator, one foot on the brake. It's like Christmas driving behind them, only there are no presents. Lights! Lights! Lights! Or worse, it's the terrible fear that we are driving 75 miles an hour and there is something brake worthy ahead. An accident. A CHP. A animal, child, human of some kind running across.
But no. It's just this crazy person trying to burn through brake pads and causing mayhem. The person in question yesterday was an elderly lady in a Camry surging, braking, surging up to Highway 13, but in an off and on and off sort of way. I almost pulled over to let her get two miles ahead before I started back on my way. I was behind her, and people were behind me, and there was quite the commotion of horns and upset in the trail of cars she had behind her.
Finally, we all managed to get around her, and in my rear view mirror, I saw her lurch and push and lurch and push continue.
Have you ever wished you had signs in your car that you could lift up as you pass an idiot of this nature?
"Go home now while you are still alive."
Or "I hate you with an intensity I've never known before"
Or "GET OFF THE ROAD"
Anyway, I feel so much better now! Aren't you glad you clicked in today for happy hour? I'll try to do the Zen thing now and let it all go. I'll take some Advil. I'll go review a book and give it five stars.
Causes Jessica Inclán Supports
Women for Women International Goodwill Industries Lindsey Wildlife Museum Freecycle.org