Mostly when I get on an airplane, I assume it's going to crash. In fact, as I take my seat and click on my seatbelt, I look around at my fellow travelers and think, We're all going down. I look at the businessman and the father of two and the elderly woman with her suduko, and I realize we are in this together. It's said we die alone, but in a burning crashing airplane, we all die together, holding hands and screaming at the top of our lungs.
As you might imagine, I'm getting on a plane tomorrow.
I hate flying and not because it presents an opportunity for group death. It's because of the getting there, the waiting, the lines, the air, the food, the seats, the smells, the people all crammed together, trying to pretend they are not together (until the downward spiral of flame and jet fuel). It's just a miserable, yucky experience. I've written about how it could be better, and it's never going to happen, at least not in a way I can afford (I suppose private jet might do).
So my new plan is for pharmaceutical companies to produce a drug that knocks us out totally. I'm not talking sleeping pills or whatever it is we get before surgery. I'm talking an immediate, fast, intense, deep drug that lasts for 1, 2, 3, 4 and up hours, depending on your flight. I want this drug to enable us to be like androids. We sit down, strap in, and turn off. When needed (such as in an emergency landings or fatal death spirals) we can turn back on and start screaming.
The airlines will hook on to this new drug's capabilities and create seats that hold us in (think a really useful and working headrest) so that the entire cabin of passengers doesn't look like a bunch of bobble heads. In fact, the airlines would love this. No meal or drink service! And the bathroom situation would be a non-issue. No lines, no mess, no untoward odors.
Then, twenty minutes before landing, up we pop from dream land, adjusting our seats to an upright position and putting on our lipstick. Flight over.
So let me know your thoughts. Feel free to pass this on to drug companies. Meanwhile, I'm readying my carry-on, filling it with the only drugs I have: books, headphones, ipod, and as many People magazines as I can purloin from my gym today.
Causes Jessica Inclán Supports
Women for Women International Goodwill Industries Lindsey Wildlife Museum Freecycle.org