The piece of advice that has helped me more than any other in recent years is that it's not about me. How people react and what they do has not much to do with me but with them. I may have said or done something to instigate, but the reaction is based on that person's life experiences.
This is very helpful when people go off the deep end, flailing around like a bats in the daylight. In times past, I would have looked at that messed up bat and taken full responsibility. Now, not so much. I try to make sure it wasn't I who was wrong or irresponsible, though sometimes I did do something off kilter. But even then, the flailing? All the bat's issue.
But watching a lot of bats is exhausting. My Facebook status update yesterday was: Drama is so damn annoying when it's not on the stage. I'm sick of drama, really. I could go a whole month of Sundays without anyone flipping, freaking, or wigging out. I could live an entire lifetime without someone taking things so damn personally, including myself, too.
Put on, I say, your big girl panties and snap out of it.
However, this is unreasonable. We are humans and we are the bungled and the botched, as Nietzsche said. We are fragile eggs, barely containing our personalities as we stumble along. I need to have compassion, so I will watch the poor bat flail and then wait for it to come to rest. The bat and I will commune, and then I hope the bat flies away.
Causes Jessica Inclán Supports
Women for Women International Goodwill Industries Lindsey Wildlife Museum Freecycle.org