A couple of nights ago, I had a dream where I was sitting in a movie theater. In front of me was a man with a gun, next to me was a scared girl, and I was on the phone talking to the receptionist who was calling from a dentist's office. The dentist was named Dr. Toomba, and this was an appointment for my boyfriend. As I was on the phone, the man with the gun, aimed, and shot someone who was standing up in the front row. (There was no reaction from anyone about this shooting, and the movie played on). The girl next to me was urging me to stop talking, to be quiet, to shut up, and I was gently telling the receptionist I would have to call her back.
So, I'm no therapist, but doesn't this all seem Freudian to you? The shooter is my ID, doing what he needs to do, ridding the theater of people--like me--who were talking. The scared girl is my superego, worried about everything, and I was the ego, sort of balancing out the two extremes, talking but clear I shouldn't be.
Somewhere in the outer realms of the dream was my former spouse, and I just decided to ignore him, focusing on my call.
This dream basically tells me to balance, something that not teaching allows me to do. When I am teaching, everything goes out of whack. I read my students' work more than the novels on my bedside table. I drive too much. I think about student issues too often. Not teaching allows another part of me to come out, though it takes me awhile to realize it. I need to shoot and be still. I need to listen and then talk. I need to read and write. I need to clean the house and watch television. Probably I shouldn't go out and shoot noisy movie theater patrons, but I don't have to clam up all the time.
Maybe I need to call my dentist.
Causes Jessica Inclán Supports
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