I was never an engaged woman; I was a pregnant woman, who needed to get married. There are some differences there. Let's put it this way--I had three baby showers and no bridal shower. The priorities were clear. So I set up my first married apartment with all sorts of baby things, and no skanky underwear gifts from the revelry of my formerly bachelorette life.
But now, my dear readers, I have me some skanky underwear. The kind made of lace with an "I do" in rhinestones over the crotch. The "I do" on underwear, as you can imagine, has some permutations.
I also received a book that lists 365 different sexual positions, one for each day of the year. My favorite is "the Headache," which is two people standing naked next to each other. That's it. Headache, get it?
The problem for me is that some of the positions necessitate Michael and me asking friends over to play. Or, worse or better yet, playing alone with others of the same sex. I think we might just let those slide. Maybe tonight we will bust through the calendar and try "The Dismount" or "the Cirque du Soleil." Let your imaginations run wild.
This bridal shower was a sleep over, and we went to my friend's pied a terre in Palo alto (who knew you could have one there), wherein we drank several bottles of champagne and watched House Hunters on HGTV. Listen, we're old. But we did manage to have one political argument and some crying. It was all good fun.
My next shower will be a bit more refined, held in a restaurant. No one will likely be giving me a cock ring at that shower, but who knows! You can never have too many cock rings. Let the revelry continue.
Causes Jessica Inclán Supports
Women for Women International Goodwill Industries Lindsey Wildlife Museum Freecycle.org