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All in the Name Of
bride of frankenstein.jpg

I am having some beauty issues, and the issues all come from trying for beauty.  Last week, I had a facial, wherein the aesthetician decided that I needed some “fur” removal from eyebrow and lip.  (No one bring up the word merkin, please).   Well, the lip part went fine, but the eyebrow?  Let me just say I ended up with two red puffy strips under what remained of my eyebrows and a broken blood vessel in my left eye.  Also, she took to my face with that harsh little metal extraction implement, and I feel as though I have the chicken pox or measles.  Basically—little red dots.  Between that and my eye, I look like I’ve gone 12 rounds.  I look as though I’ve taken a left, a right, a left again.

Round two.

Next, on to the hair salon, wherein I think I’m ready for a new haircut.  He hems, he haws, but then my stylist does when I tell him to do.  Can you say Doris Day?  I can.  I can even sing it.  Oh, Do-ris?  Do-ris Daa-ay?

Lastly, there are my feet, the saga beginning in a lovely spa in Lafayette, California, my  mother in the next chair.  Except for a smudge on the big toe—fixed by the happy toe person named Candy—all was well until I went home and dropped fork on my toe.  Actually, I didn’t just drop a fork on my toe.  I punctured my big toe, right hand side, with a fork.  The top of toes like to bleed.  The good news, blood matches my toenail polish.

When I opened the door with my two pronged-holed injury, Michael told me I had a tine-y toe.  Ha, ha.  I later thought that it looked like a fledgling vampire had been at me.

This entire process above cost about 320 smackers, and I can honestly say that except for my gleaming red toenails (ignore the bandage), I am worse for the beauty wear.  I am no where looking like the happy writer woman off to the Romance Writers of America conference.  I look like the Bride of Frankenstein, let out on a good day.  Maybe.

Jessica

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13 Comment count
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When in doubt, SPARKLE.

Glow, sparkle, be dynamic, and nobody will notice the tine marks and the beat-up face. (I am SO sorry.) Besides, it probably only looks bad to you! (That's what I tell myself, anyway, on those bad-everythings days.) Don't even talk to me about fur removal. But I have a good woman, if you're in need again... she's very gentle.

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Fur removal is vicious and

Fur removal is vicious and horrid, and I think tweezers are better.

Thank you for the advice, and I may call you for fur person number.

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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I feel a song coming on

The Judybats were an early '90s indie rock group. Their only song I remember is called Pain Makes You Beautiful.

Pain makes you beautiful
I give you what you want, the pain and the pleasure
I'm, I'm no good for you
You're no good for yourself

...that's the opening verse. Print it out on card stock and post it at the salon.

Huntington Sharp, Red Room

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But it

didn't make me beautiful!  Pain just hurt, Huntington!

My mother wrote to say I've exaggerted this entirely, but I disagree.

However, not a bad slogan to have on a card!

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Send me 10 bucks, Hunti

and I'll share the beauty secrets with you, too.  And when are we getting another episode of you on film?

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Why, Belle...

...do I look like I need a beauty upgrade? ;-)

There's been growing agitation for more video goodness. (A lot of that has come from my mother...) I can only recommend you watch this space...

Huntington Sharp, Red Room

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I have a beauty secret

for you, and since it's secret, I'll email it.

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Got it!

Online researching right now.

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Gee, just last week I was

Gee, just last week I was mulling over whether to blog about my obsessing over shaving my head but had decided against it -- both the blogging and the shaving, that is.  I had consulted with a fellow where I get my burritos ("Pro") and another at the workers' comp board (Also "Pro") But, for one thing, shaving my cranium with a safety razor every three days seemed like a lot of work.  For another, I don't think it's that good a look for skinny white guys with glasses.  Anyway, I caucused with my barber, the esteemed Ziba, and decided to go with clipping what fringe I had down to about 1/16th of an inch. (I can use an electric clipper on that.)

It didn't hurt at all.  What was painful was when I returned to the office and no one noticed.  But my wife -- on the second time I passed her in the hall -- it was a dark hall -- said it was cute. 

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May I answer for Jessica

since she's off to buy the beauty ingredients (Belle' secret recipe) I emailed her?

You are hot the way you are, Bob.

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Belle was right

I was off buying ingredients and you are cute!

But I do love a shaved head.  A balding head.  Ed Harris is HOT.

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

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Now I feel left out.

Now I feel left out. :<

What's the secret recipe for beauty?????

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me too...

Ericka, I guess if they tell us it's no longer a secret. But of course now I'm sitting here imagining what it could be and that's probably more fun than actually knowing.