where the writers are
Sarah Palin Does a Book Report

Okay Governor Palin!  We assigned you a book to report on, didn't we?
Yes, Miss Gibbons, you sure did! Did I mention I am from Alaska?
Oh yes, ma'am, several times. Okay, so the book I assigned was Dicey's Song. Let's start off with this: what is Dicey's song, Governor Palin?
Oh, there's so many songs. There's Yankee Doodle Dandy, Star Spangled Banner...

Right, but that's not relating to the book. Let's try again. Was there a specific song the writer is talking about?
Hmmm.... in what way do you mean, Miss Gibbons?
I mean, what did you mean the title meant?
It meant that she had a song, because all Americans have a song!
Okay, let's move on. Let's discuss the character Maybeth. Who is Maybeth?
Well, that's a pretty name.

Yes it is.  Who is she?
That is such a pretty name.

Um, yeah it's a lovely name. But who is Maybeth?
Well, she's a character in the book.

Fabulous. But who is she?

Miss Gibbons, I just told you who she is.
I know, but I like to know more about her. Like what she likes,  what she doesn't like...

Well, she must like her name!
I'm guessing she does.... Sean Hannity! What are you doing here?
Miss Gibbons, you are talking down to the governor!
I am? How?
This is a book for teenagers!
Why yes, it is...

So you think the governor can't read something than young adult novels?
Well, I just assigned it because it's a Newberry award winner, plus I thought it would be good to see an American family...

And they take welfare in this book! See! I highlighted it!
Um, that's their name for social security...

Sean, thank you for trying to help. I can handle this myself.

All right Governor. And remember, you're going to be on my show tomorrow. That's right! Hannity! Oh, and that other guy as well.

Back to the book, Governor...
Of course, Miss Gibbons!
Now Dicey and Gram go to Boston...

which is in Massachusetts! I've been there!
Good for you! Who do they go see in Boston?
Well, maybe they went to Cheers. Cheers is in Boston, isn't it? And maybe they went to see the Charles River...

Okay Governor Palin, I'm going to remind you they went to see Dicey's mom who is in a coma. Wait a minute! Senator McCain, what are you doing here?
You are implying my running mate is in a coma, aren't you?
Um, no! I'm just reminding the governor that Dicey and Gram went to see Dicey's...

I can't believe you liberals! You'll just go to any lows, don't you?
Okay, I give up.

You what, Miss Gibbons?
Look Govenor, there are times in my life I know what I'm talking about, and then there are times I'm just faking it. I'm going for a drink.

I just don't understand, Miss Gibbons.

Here. Read the book. It's very good.
You're implying she can't read, aren't you?
Go away! For the love of God, go away!