Yesterday I felt melancholy, not sure why. Perhaps the glow from Sunday was finally lifting, maybe it was because I was behind on the NanoWriMo Book (I'm beginning to feel like Katie Burke when she wrote "I hate this book.") Part of it was yesterday was the anniversary of when I realized my cat Electra was not going to get better from her illness and she died the next day, a year ago today. I miss her still-always will. Yet this morning when I stayed in bed too long, Ida B. kept on swatting at my nose, saying "Come on! It's a beautiful day! Enjoy it!" Which of course I need to do.
I love this time of year because of the leaves, the chill in the hair, and how things are settling down. Yet always a melancholy settles inside me as well. I always wonder what am I doing? What else do I want in my life? Of course this month has been fantastic-the election, the St. Francis, I truly feel blessed. However during this time I wonder what's next? What now?
Not sure yet. I'll have to be moving soon; my late landlady's sons are going to be selling the house in the spring. I know I want to stay in the area, if not Lafayette then two towns nearby Walnut Creek and Concord. It's the uncertainity that scares me though. I'm the kind of girl who likes to know where she's going to be the next couple of years. I always needed that security.
However let's face it, we live in pretty insecure times. The trick is, I have finally learned, is to stay positive. Not in a sticky sweet type of way, but in a way that you just keep one foot in front of the other. Try not to panic, try to keep it together. You're not alone.
I always think of this old Peggy Lee song called "Is that all there is?" Then she sings "Let's keep dancing." That's the deal-we have to keep dancing, no matter what.
Causes Jennifer Gibbons Supports
Gilda's Club, Greenpeace, Rosie's Broadway Kids,Westwind Foster Family Agency, Amber Brown Fund, Linda Duncan Fund for Contra Costa Libraries