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Dallas 2012: The Good, the Bad, and the Back Stabbing

Man, wasn't last night amazing! The highs! The lows! The emotional upswings! Oh, you think I'm talking about the Giants game! Silly reader! I'm talking about the new Dallas!  I live tweeted the premiere with occasional interuptions from my father ("What do you mean you're not watching the game? This is history in the making!") In case you missed it, here's the tweets, plus I expand on the 140 character limit.  I mean, what would you rather do: read my extended tweets or talk about baseball?

Crickets.

Just smile and nod, all right? (If you have not seen the first episode of Dallas, don't read this blog. Major spoilers ahead!)

here we go! Ooh! Green shrubs! John Ross! #DallasTNT 9:01 Plus it has Jordanna Brewster who was on As The World Turns for a while. Apparently she's an engineer. Hopefully it's not like Denise Richards in a James Bond movie who was supposed to be a nuclear physicist but looked like she could barely pronounce the names of elements.

And we have a gusher! #DallasTNT Oil everywhere! Someone get James Dean! 9:03

Ah Bobby, you've aged well. #DallasTNT 9:05 I'm glad Patrick Duffy is not afraid to show his age.  But wait! Bobby's dying? No no! Miracle cure stat! 9:05

Oh here we go, love the music! Wait a sec! The guitar strum is gone! But wait a minute! Where's the famous "Starring in alphabetical order" card? #DallasTNT I know this sounds silly but it drove home the fact that Dallas was a group of actors. Larry Hagman might've been the "star" but he didn't do it alone.  9:07

Ah Christopher, you speak French! #DallasTNT 9:09

Bobby's getting wistful! And look! It's Mary Alice Young! #DallasTNT 9:14

The new John Ross. Hmm. Well, he's darned cute. #DallasTNT 9:18

Ah, JR finally had that long delayed nervous breakdown. #DallasTNT 9:22

Bobby kissing JR's forehead? Heartbreaking. #DallasTNT This is what made the show great: it was a story about a family. Dysfunctional and nutty, but a family. 9:23

 

Wow! Southfork looks great! #DallasTNT They've redecorated and it looks darned spiffy. There's also an oil painting of Jock and Miss Ellie over the fireplace (where a painting of Jock used to be) that adds a nice touch to the furnishings. 9:26

wait a sec! Elena grew up with them? When did that happen? #DallasTNT See, I hate it when soaps do this; I can accept rapid aging, I can accept coming back from the dead, but bringing in a new character and saying "Remember how she grew up with the boys?" Not buying it. 9:30

something is not right with this Rebecca chick. #DallasTNT 9:32

ah, bickering about energy alternatives! How 21st century! #DallasTNT 9:35 (Quinn Cummings said to this: "At first, I read it as "bickering AS energy alternatives" Briefly enjoyed fantasies of great wealth.")

Ah, they get wifi on Southfork! #DallasTNT Elena made the wifi signal work on the oil field. So they have a good wifi signal! Excellent! 9:40

Okay, JR needs to get out of that cataconic state now. #DallasTNT 9:45

Everyone has a tell. ??? #DallasTNT This is something Rebecca tells Elena while getting her wedding dress. Yeah, I don't get it either. 9:50

"My grandmother's will" Wouldn't he say "Grandma's" will? #DallasTNT Why so formal John Ross? 9:52

OMG! JR is back! #DallasTNT 9:53

is it just me or there's more commericals with this new #DallasTNT? 9:56

JR eating jello beats any reality TV show these days. #DallasTNT 9:59

so Southfork doesn't have an alarm system but has guns? #DallasTNT 10:01

I am glad that Annie takes no guff. Miss Ellie would be proud. #DallasTNT 10:03

Oh no! The wedding is going to be on Southfork! All Southfork weddings are cursed! #DallasTNT 10:06

Ray and Lucy deserve better than cameos. #DallasTNT 10:07

"I'm the first born grandson" No you're not! James was! #DallasTNT James Beaumont was JR's long lost son. He was on for three seasons then disappeared. Then the actor went on Step by Step which starred... Patrick Duffy. Yeah.

Okay, I'm confused. In the TV movies I thought they got Ewing Oil back. Did I dream that???? #DallasTNT See there were several TV movies and one of them JR got back Ewing Oil (Cliff Barnes took it over the last season) Or are the TV movies not part of the Dallas canon?

"We're two different people from two different circumstances" Cue "Coyote" by Joni Mitchell! #DallasTNT Elena is telling Christopher this. Something is about to be revealed...

ah, I get it! John Ross sent that email to Elena! This is good soap opera, people! #DallasTNT Apparently Elena got an email from "Christopher" saying that they had to breakup. I smell a hacker here...

And where's Cliff? Wouldn't he come to his nephew's wedding??? #DallasTNT  Cliff will come in at a later episode.

There was a second episode, but I was tired and went to bed.  All in all, I can say this: it's a good show. Not great, but good. I'll watch again. Best things about it? The older actors, especially Hagman. Bad parts: Gaping holes in history. But I truly want this show to succeed. In a TV world full of "reality" programs, there are times I just want to see JR be the charming guy we all love to hate. But bring back the alphabetical order card! And the guitar strum!

 

 

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I can't believe I missed the

I can't believe I missed the premiere, but fortunately it'll be repeated tomorrow. Dallas and Falcon Crest were must-see TV throughout my high school years (as well as a number of years before and after). And I still love the theme music after all this time.