(Nota bene: this is past the deadline for the contest, but I'm posting it anyway, because writing it was fun....)
"Joey, you can't take him with you to college, you know."
"I know that."
"Don't sigh at me like that. I know it's sentimental, but you're too old for that."
"Mom. I said I know."
"Okay, okay. Just leave it there. I'll put it away with the rest of your stuff."
"I'll take care of him."
"You're not really going to let her throw me out, are you?"
"Jesus! Don't scare me like that. You know I'm not used to seeing you a lot these days. Especially not like that."
"Hey, don't be so touchy."
"Don't sit on the bed! Remember what happened the last time?"
"Huh. I remember. I was picking splinters out of my rump for a week."
"Hey, you weren't the one who actually had to convince Mom and Dad that I did it by jumping up and down on the bed. I don't think they really believed me."
"Well, is it all right if I sit on the rug right here?"
"You know she's going to throw me out, right?"
"What? Of course she isn't."
"Yes, she is. She did it with the giraffe, and the dolphin, the gorilla. Let's not even talk about the monkey she gave to Scout."
"That was pretty brutal, but what do you expect from a terrier?"
"Well, they weren't like me, right? They were just toys."
"I know, I know."
"Why doesn't she want me to go with you, anyway?"
"Ted, I'm eighteen years old. Guys my age usually outgrow this."
"Well, I suppose that's true. I never thought of you as most guys your age."
"Even so, if I'd brought you to school with me and the guys found out, I probably would've gotten laughed right out of the locker room."
"And you wouldn't have made the football team. I do remember how important that was to you, you know. Who caught your terrible passes when you were eight years old?"
"You did. But you drooled on the ball."
"I can't help my nature, Joe."
"Hey, I'm not blaming you."
"And I suppose Julie wouldn't have understood about me."
"I dunno. She said she secretly played with Barbies until she was thirteen."
"Don't ask me why, but Barbies are delicious."
"That is just more than I need to know, Ted."
"I would've taken you to school with me if I could have, you know."
"Well, sure I do. I didn't mind waiting until you got home."
"I know there were a lot of late nights-"
"The team needed you. I do understand that."
"There were a lot of away games, I know."
"It's okay. Really. I'm not hurt."
"Right. You know who you sound a lot like right now? My mother."
"... Okay, I have to confess that one hurt a little."
"I'm not really as bad as your mother, am I?"
"At least you never made me clean my room."
"That's at least one good thing about college, then. No one will be there to make you clean up your room."
"Yeah. Unless my roommate turns out to be a neat freak."
"Not many teenage boys are neat freaks, Joe."
"You never know."
"Hey, Ted. Get in."
"There's plenty of room, see? I even saved a spot. Then I'll put a bunch of clothes on top and Mom'll never notice."
"I don't know...."
"Ted, you didn't think I was actually going to leave without you, did you?"
"I guess not."
"Ted, who's my main bear? Come on, who's my main bear?"
"Hey, don't sigh at me like that. You're my main bear and you always will be. Deal?"
"Ow. You really need to cut your nails."
"Maybe you should walk me more often."
"Maybe at night."