Here are a few snippets of conversation: 

Department Head at my first interview as a new law graduate:  "Do you think it's harder for you to be a woman in a man's world?"

Me:  "I don't know.  I've never been a man."

                                                                   * * * * 

Department Head, during a discussion about the firm's unpaid mandatory maternity leave policy:  "Jane, you have a degree in Zoology.  You'd agree that women become irrational during pregnancy and for awhile after childbirth because of hormones, wouldn't you?"

I was 24 months post-partum and had billed more hours than anyone else in the firm for several months running.  I'd also been in court 10 days after my baby's due date and dictated a letter into the phone while on my hands and knees from my hospital bed while harnessed to a fetal monitor.  I'd worked from home during my six-week unpaid maternity leave and despite my boss's promise to pay me for the work on an hourly basis, the check never materialized.

Me:  "No, I can't agree with that statement."

                                                                   * * * *

Colleague with whom I'd worked for several years:  "Are you a single parent?"

Me:  "No, but my husband thinks he is."

                                                                  * * * *

While seated next to the managing partner of law firm where I've worked for 8 years at the annual office party.  My daughters were 10 and 18 years old, respectively.

Managing Partner:  "Do you have children?"

                                                                  * * * *

Grinning Sadistic Judge:  "The trial will begin at 8 a.m.  Will that be a problem, Ms. Wilson?"

Judge's Secretary:  "Just tell him if it is."

Me:  "Your Honor, my daughter's school opens at 8 a.m. and it takes me an hour to get here from there."

Broadly Grinning Sadistic Judge:  "Don't you have a husband?"

                                                                   * * * *

New lawyer:  "May I ask you a question?"

Me:  "Yes, these are my real breasts."

New lawyer (making eye contact to avoid looking at the washboard below my floppy silk tie):  "I LIKE you!"

                                                              * * * * 

Senile judge as I stand to make an objection in the presence of the jury:  "The Court recognizes Miss Jane Russell."*

Me, glancing at the jury box to observe their reaction:  "Thank you, Your Honor."

*Historical reference for younger readers - Jane Russell modeled Playtex "Cross Your Heart" bras for "us full-figured gals."