Don't like drugs. Love rock and roll. I once spent the night outside Wembley Stadium the night before "The Who," Maggie Smith, Lou Reed and Humble Pie played. We were first in line and I didn't eat, drink or pee for several hours; I got to hear "Pinball Wizard," after no sleep, with nothing in my stomach and a massive headache. Something to tell my grandkids.
I went to an Emerson, Lake and Palmer concert a week or so later. We sat high in the bleachers. The odor of cannabis rolled with tobacco clung to my clothes for awhile, but that was better than spending the night seated on hard concrete when you weigh 104 pounds and only worn denim covers the flesh on your buttbones.
I went to see the Allman Brothers play the night before my first test at MSU. "Natural Science" was a required course. I was also enrolled in remedial math . . . if that gives you any sense of my academic preparation or analytical skills. I'd never learned to study - I could bullshit my way through just about anything, but a multiple choice test was one of those ". . . pick (c) if you haven't a clue," experiences I hadn't had at DUH (Dowagiac Union High).
I reasoned I'd have a zillion more tests in my lifetime, but only one chance to see the Allman Brothers. (I was SUCH a brilliant and responsible student my first year in college.) There were 400 students, more or less, in the class. The cards on which we recorded our answers were read by a machine, so we told to expect to receive our grades during the next class period.
Since there were no test papers to return, the professor could have written our grades next to our student numbers on a sheet of paper and posted them outside his office or the classroom, as most of the other teachers did. Our professor was not only too lazy to do that, he was also, we learned, a real jerk.
He called out a name.
No one answered.
"Does anyone know her?"
I raised my hand.
"She's in my English class," I replied.
"Tell her she got the lowest grade in the class," jerky professor answered.
Then he called MY name.
"Oh, shit," I thought.
Stupidly, I raised my hand, as I slunk down in the padded seat.
"You got the highest grade in the class," he said.
Take me out and shoot me.