At least that’s what some are saying. According to the Mayan calendar, Revelation, some star configurations and that long haired leftover-from-the-sixties ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ looking guy trudging along with a massive cross on his back – he’s been trying to tell yall for years that Armageddon is upon us. Now we have a date – 2012. Cyberspace is all abuzz with the hype. Yeah, I said it. HYPE. I have no idea if the world is ending but you know I’m damn sure going to tell you what to do if it is. Stay with me, people.
Baby Boomers grew up, a little warped I’m afraid, by the induced fear of “The Russians”, Communists, Pearl Harbor’s ghosts, a possible WW3 and the specter of that huge mushroom death cloud devastating Hiroshima. The A for absolutely, A-bomb. Seldom does a sad movie make me cry but that radioactive cloud gets me every time. I still can’t believe that anyone would have the sheer nerve to do something that horrible! Baby Boomers dived under their school desks and knew the locations of all those yellow cold war Civil Defense signs denoting ‘shelters-safe places’ to huddle in when the shrill shriek of air raid sirens scared the mess out of the innocent and guilty alike. Huh. Subsequent generations, if they paid any attention, were vaguely aware of the hazy “nuclear threat” but they didn’t have time to think about that, it was all about conspicuous consumption. For you slow Bamas- buying overpriced dumb junk pretending that its expensive so you feel like you better than somebody who’s already on the bottom of the heap. Like paying $200 for a pair of sweat shop sneakers that cost about $6 to make, pack, ship and market to your naive behind. Naw, I’m not making it up, Einstein.
A few hyped up wars jumped off to make sure ‘they’ still know who’s boss – we’ll kill your bleepin women and kids in a New York minute, dammit! Bomb your schools and show your bloody injured, your dead grandparents and babies on CNN. We are the bleepin’ US of A, fool. You betta recognize! Have you ever had that confuzzled situation where a grown up whooped your behind (hurt you) then told you they did it because they love you (mend you) and it’s to make you do right (fix you)? What? You’ll tear me down to build me back up? Something’s dead wrong with that. Makes no sense for a child or a country.
Then there was the Y2K drama. I’m still all J @ that. Well, sometimes I just go ahead and LOL @ that foolishness. But hey, who knows, maybe your tricked out bunker will come in handy some day. More recently, it’s weapons of mass distraction uh, destruction that ‘they’ can’t ever find. (Thieving cousin Ray Ray would sniff those suckas out like a starving aardvark if he could get a coupla bucks- you know Ray Ray, the one that will snatch the sugah out the pie without breaking the crust) Just to make a point, a few more “you better act like you know” wars were waged- you gotta watch CNN or something to even know about those. It’s not like StinkStink and D’kwondah care. Now the world is coming to an end.
Oh my Lawd, what do we do? Didn’t I say I’m damn sure going to tell you what to do if it is? Well listen up. First, put the remote down and get a grip. Ready? Here we go. If the world is coming to an end, you probably can’t stop it. It’s not like you can slam on the emergency brake, tilt the earth to the left, flip a u or call On Star. Put the happy pills down and get past the anxiety attack. (Well, maybe you do want to spend your last days stoned. I aint mad at that.) Next, get grounded. Figure out what’s important. Shaniqua’s drama probably don’t qualify! That sorry man or woman you been holding on to probably won’t make the cut either. Being mad at Su-Nami Jackson for telling your business- forget it. What are you waiting for? Somebody to come and make you happy? Hmmm. Don’t hold your breath. Let go of the dumb sh—stuff.
Start living as if the world really is coming to an end! Activate that brain you don’t use half the time. If you got the cure for cancer or stupidity, c’mon, give us three cancer free, stupidity free years! Don’t we deserve that in our last days? Think about it. Since you can’t get out of life alive anyway, why are you living anything but the fullest that you possibly can live?
If you only had three more years on earth, how would you live them? Alright then….. be about it!