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Choices

This morning I woke up and did pretty much what I do every morning, shower and then stepped out to a cafe for coffee and some baked item.

The difference between today and most days has been context. We experience and learn through events large and small and most recently I have been tasked with experiential learning through larger, life changing events. I will not die or anything of that nature, but for what seems like the umpteenth time I find myself at a crossroads and not exactly sure of what to do.

Running through my mind has been the serenity prayer, which goes something like, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I am no longer young so I  feel that I have a fairly good grasp on understanding what I can and cannot change.

The decisions of others, for example, are beyond my control. We live in a world and culture of free will that at times can feel empowering, but also powerless. We can make choices about our lives, but we have no power over the choices of others when they affect our lives. We can hope that people will be good or strong or loyal, but we cannot change their decisions when they choose another path.

In this instance I seek serenity to accept this fact.

However, in light of the choices of others where I have no influence, yet affect my life, I do have the potential to make my own choices. I can act as a decent, honorable and kind person or fall into my own stew of negative emotions and act solely out of my own self interests. I have learned that the higher path leads to higher ends and so I look for the strength to stay on that path and do what I can to build a life that is good.

But then there is the need for the wisdom to know what I can and cannot affect. This seems the hardest to do because at times we may not understand or see our power or powerlessness.

So thinking of the directions I can now go I stepped out for my coffee and baked item and entered a world of people and calm, yet also frenetic activity. Each going through their own rhythm and working through the issues of the moment and challenges of the day. That is the most consistent human condition and what I saw was that while I may be at a crossroads and one that I did not want or choose, I am able to find a way forward that is good and healthy.

At its heart is the need to be okay with what I cannot control while still keeping my life progressing forward in a good way. Sometimes more challenging than others, but a consistent reality of what it means to live.

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Hello James, I have not had

Hello James, I have not had much time lately to check in on RR lately as I have been busy with seminars to attend one of which was called Choice theory 

http://www.wglasser.com/the-glasser-approach/choice-theory

And now here you are writing about Choices... 

Your writing echoes what Dr. William Glasser has been teaching about external control and the choices we make in life.  I feel the validation reading your blog.  Wonderful post.  Thank you for sharing!