I am always reminded of the children game, I spy with my little eye.... When I was growing up, I was never alone, and the "I spy" was a world apart from what my siblings could see in their world too. For me, there was spirit children around, adults who had passed before my birth, small people that inhabited the garden. It was a world that where "I spy" could suddenly become a whole new game.
If you ask my parents, they would say I had a world of questions, was miles away in a world of my own. I learnt as a child relatively quickly that parents didn't see these things as clearly and my Mother in particular was always worried what would drop out of my mouth around others. The thing that worried my Father the most, was I had no particular fear of dying. I have nearly drowned 6 times in my childhood. I am inherently drawn to water and as a child, this was a nightmare situation for my Father. Every time, at the closest call, I would come up laughing and spluttering as my Father pulled me out of yet another river or sea. My Father would shake his head and wonder if I would make adulthood.
A major influence in my childhood was my Great Grandmother, I didn't realise until years later that it was her, that was around me for a lot of my childhood. She had passed years and years ago. She always appeared as a round lady, hair pulled back in a messy bun, apron on and we would shell peas on a porch while she told me things about spirit, the small people, guides and the darkness. In her lifetime she was an amazing lady, a postmistress, midwife and assorted other people related roles. Brought up a heap of children and was very spiritually gifted. She taught me from spirit, when my Mother struggled with me, not to be afraid of the ones that appeared around me, but to look for the light in them and what I needed to do to help them.
My Mother in the meantime, would tell me to shhhhh. Sit in the dark for ages with me, telling me there was no-one there as I sat stiffly in the darkness, watching spirit move all around me. My sense of not belonging, or fitting in grew and grew through my childhood. I would spend hours with small people in the garden, spirit children and noticing what others no longer could see. "I spy with my little eye" became a game of seeing what others could not.