I love discussions with my children, they ask, all the "curly" questions and make me think as well. Children also do this wonderful thing. They make you own also what comes out of your mouth when you least expect it. Over the last couple of days the boys at various times have made a few comments that have made Merrin chortle with laughter and poke me with her ever-present "You listening? You Hear?"
One incident, we were travelling into Christchurch, which is now an hour away, during the journey I was playing the Black Eyed Pea's song Where is the Love, which both the boys love, and love to sing in the car at full noise. After the song had finished and I had decided that my ears had simply had enough of "volume" singing for five minutes. There was a peaceful silence. I look sideways at my smallest reflective son and he turns and frowns at me.
"That line in that song, "People killing people dying, children hurt and you hear them crying. Can you practise what you preach, and would you turn the other cheek, Father, Father, Send some Guidance from Above. Cause people got me questioning, where is the Love?" What does it really mean?
I look at the road in front of me. "It means how can people just ignore what is going on in the world and just continue with their lives. Makes the singer ask God to send some guidance, some understanding to people to ask them where their love, and compassion is".
He looks at me seriously, "I know about that!" I laugh, "well what are you asking then?" He says "Where is the love?".
From the back seat in a dead pan Duhhhhh voice "Inside us, you dork". I glare in the rear vision mirror. "That's not helpful. It is but it isn't". I look at my youngest, so intense and wanting to know. "The love is inside of us, but we hold it back at times and the song asks for us to show LOVE clearly, not hide it, not allow things to happen, but help each other to sort our world out. To bring LOVE from ourselves, for ourselves and share it willingly with others. The capacity for our hearts to love is not utilised as much as it should be."
"So we can love the planet better?" Merrin chuckles, I flick a shhhh thought towards her. "Yes, I believe we can. If we understand how capable we are in each individual to create an amazing amount of love and then once we realise how capable we are as an individual of loving ourselves, then we can add together that love for others, join together in a massive group and it can change the planet completely".
"So a kinda BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGG LOVE thing" from the back seat. I snort laughter, and eyeball number two in the back seat. "Yes "a BIGGGGGGG LOVE thing" would work, if many, many people combined together to bring that love, it changes the frequency, the emotions and has more power than anything because it brings also such unity to people, more than anything else".
"So why do we have to start with us first?" An earnest face peers at me from the passenger seat and I smile at him. "Honey, we have to start with us first, simply because we forgot to love ourselves. We judge ourselves so harshly, expect ourselves to conform to things that may not suit us but because we think it may be right, and think we may get hurt, in doing that and getting so caught up in our heads, we forget to love from our hearts". Merrin's eyes twinkle to the side of me and I give her a wrinkled nose look.
"We have to remember HOW to love properly and then we can love everyone in the way we are supposed to, with such grace and such healing power. However, we have to stop fearing getting hurt, not being seen, or just plain allowing our hearts to open".
He thinks for a moment. "Do you love people?" Startled, I look at him and then at the road again. "Yes, I do love people honey, a lot. I admire their courage in having a human journey and the beauty of their hearts, their challenges and the fact they are here trying to learn too." "Oh, is that why you change colours when you read them?". I laugh "what colour do I change to?". "Sort of a bright goldy colour, it's very bright". I smile, "yes I think so, when I read people I ask for them to be shown to me in the beauty of their Soul, in the divine light of them, and ask to be shown all of them. To do that I need to open my heart as well".
He thinks for a moment. "Why close it again then? Why not leave it open all the time? " I sigh and Merrin clears her throat in a loud Ahem. I mentally roll my eyes at her. "Because I'm a big chicken at times too honey".
"Do you love you?" I blink for a moment and take a big breath in. Merrin chuckles again. "I'm a work in progress" I say. "I am working on accepting all that I am, my perceived flaws, my hurts and my thought patterns. I will love me, I just need a little more work. But I am working on loving me and its a really good thing for everyone to do".
He nods "Ok. Can we hear the song again?" I dutifully put the song back on again and Merrin taps me gently on the shoulder. The boys are singing full noise again and my mind is a million miles away. Merrin smiles at me gently.
"If you would only allow at times your heart to be open all the time, you would know that you are all that you need to be. You would simply understand that LOVE flows always, like a river through your being. There always simply because the life force that brought you here is from the Source, and that love of creation flows in every living being. Stop trying to complicate your love by containing it under excuses and thoughts. Surrender and allow your love to flow so that it fills up all of your being. You are a creation of love, be all that it is."
So if you are questioning, where is the love? Understand this, you are love, built on a conception of a Divine plan, created out of loving intention, and gifted, truly gifted with the journey in this realm. Be the love that you are, you simply are the love you are looking for. Embrace you and allow your love to flow.