It's funny, somewhere within me is the knowledge of the lives that I have had before. This applies to all of us, but in reality we have forgotten so much. If I take the time I can go back into myself and see people in my current life, the lives I have had with them. No one person who comes into your life is co-incidental. Our paths were carefully mapped out for ultimate growth within our Soul Group. Sometimes though, when I least expect it, Past and Present collide and I am thrown back into a life I have had before. Anything can spark this and I used to think I was seriously weird, now I just know I am. Triggers, moments, people, anything can bring a life to the fore. It is like time collides, a doorway opens and I for a time go and revisit lives woven into the tapestry of me.
..... The Speaker says, now before the Clairvoyance, we will do a Meditation, please could the lights be turned off. I close my eyes and Indian Flute music flows around me, weaving as it always does a vague sense of loss, sorrow and echoes through time. I cringe, this music, though I love it, seems to bring something deep within me to the present. I feel for a moment I will pass out and then suddenly, it's dark, deadly quiet and something absolutely stinks right under my nose. I have no idea where I am, I am hunched over, standing on my feet but knees are bent and I am curled over with something over the top of me and it stinks. Multiple impressions come at once, I am male, the smell stinks but it is familiar. Adrenalin is coursing through my veins and excitement flows through my mind. With one hand I reach out and move the stinky covering a tiny gap, peer through it and shuffle closer to the target, my hand tightens around the spear in my hand. Excitement again soars through me. I love this hunt.
Before me in the crack of the skin, bison graze quietly on the plains, I turn slightly and see another hump like me moving through the grass, I smother laughter because I know that he like me is uncomfortably cramped but excited by the hunt. Our job is to push the Bison closer to the others up ahead by startling them into stampede. A game between us is to get close enough to spear one from this end. It is a source of pride and competition between us, for he is my brother. Sweat creeps slowly down my face and I ignore the stench of the new hide over me. I sneak closer and see the hump on my right also move. I smother again laughter, we are so competitive yet we are stalking the same beast. My heart pounds, the wind carries the smell of the bison, sharp and acrid, it is just about time.
I move my feet so that I am positioned to run, I will flick my hide off, adjust the spear and go for the position on the throat my father taught me, for if I do not, I will miss the position I need to still the animal immediately. I freeze, the animal stops chewing, turns and seems to stare straight at me, time stills and for a moment even the air holds her breath. Restlessness runs on the wind, even the grasses on the plains, wait. It turns slightly away, the perfect time. I launch myself from my skin, spear poised, out of the corner of my eye I see my brother launching perfectly in tune. My mind thrills and my spear flies true on the wind and lands on my chosen animal. My brothers spear lands true on the same animal, yelping, to further the stampede towards the rest of the tribe, we quickly descend on the stricken animal. Knife drawn, we meet each others eyes and offer words of thanks to the Great Spirit and Mother Earth for this animal whose spirit now soars in the skies. Nothing will be wasted this day, this harvest of animals will take 3 days for us to finish. We look up at the calls and yells from the others as the stampede has gone directly into the trap. We grin at each other.
"You stink" comments my brother. I grin at him happily "As do you Brother" and we both laugh. A call comes behind us, as some of the women from the tribe pulling a travois for the kill descend on us, now that the kill is made, their roles to help strip and reserve the hide, meat, fat and all internal organs, nothing will be wasted.
There is an audible click as the CD is stopped and the Speaker asks everyone to come back from the Meditation. I am momentarily disconcerted by which reality I am actually in. Awareness comes in that I am in Church, and I am on Clairvoyance. Fingers and traces of the life that was, retreat from my mind, melancholy and sorrow touch my heart with earnest fingers for a split second and I draw in a breath. I blink in the light and luckily there is a hymn to sing before I read. I search for Cornelius and he takes my hand.
"The past" he whispers "Ever present, in your learning and your understanding". "Yes but why am I remembering so much more now?" "Because it is time" he states gently, I turn to look at him. He shakes his head "Later, for now you need to work". The hymn finishes and I move a part of myself to stand with Spirit, to listen and to pass on messages from loved ones, to loved ones.
Part of my mind wanders over old images, part of my heart sings with old emotions and old songs carried on the winds of time. I won't forget I can't, for some reason it's important and it is another life which opens my heart in the present a little bit more. In understanding ourselves better and our emotions, each of these lives bring a feeling of more belonging and wisdom into the present.