Yesterday I was reading for a man, he commented that I was different than other readers he had gone to. I looked uncomfortable, I asked if that was good or bad? He laughed "Good, but you are not what I expected". The temptation to ask if I was as good as someone else, or in what way was I different was absolutely huge but in that moment Tobias touched my arm lightly and shook his head. I looked at him questioningly. "Don't ask for an answer" he said. I replied to the man "I hope you enjoyed the reading" instead. He said he had immensely, for which I was delighted.
After he left though I questioned Tobias about why I couldn't ask the man what he meant. He responded with this and I thought that I should share it because in our world with our friends, families and challenges I felt that it was appropriate.
"Human nature is an interesting thing, if you put two completely different people with completely different skills into the same situation with both perfectly able to complete the task, just in their own ways, at some point both of these people will look at what the other is doing and make a decision as to whether their way was more appropriate. Is that comparison right or fair? No, this is merely to do with confidence, learning and individuality.
The risk of making comparisons in the way that others perform a task, is not if their way was better, more efficient, they did it with more confidence, or it looked better. The risk is simply you can start to review the way YOU are doing things and start to become more critical of yourself. Each person is unique, in their thinking, their understanding, their conception of ideas and learning. When there is a mutual exchange of ideas, then comparison does not come into the equation, however, when people are deliberately comparing who does what and how, this is when issues can arise.
Each of you who came on this journey, came with your own level of understanding, learning and ability to adapt and change. It is not necessarily the same as the next person, you must reach your own level of understanding in yourself of what your abilities are and what suits you in both your learning style and your acceptance of what you need for you in this life. Comparison to others will make you more inflexible in your judgements of what is right, wrong by standards that have been set by another, you need to come back to setting your own standards and understanding for yourself, set by yourself and not by anothers benchmark.
Put this way it is perceptual. Two men arrived at an office for a job interview, one man was completely dressed immaculately in a suit, presentation impeccable. The other man was dressed casually but tidily. The casually dressed man immediately wished he had dressed up more than he had. The immaculately dressed man looked at the casually dressed man and envied that he was confident in his abilities that he did not feel a need to dress up. Nothing was said, but the comparisons were made.
Come back to being comfortable in yourself and with yourself and how you do things, handle people and situations. There is no golden rule, there is merely an understanding at a self level that you have done everything you can, and are comfortable without comparison within the level of understanding that you operate at. People who compare will end up competing and run the risk of losing sight of themselves in an endless journey of trying to be something they are not. Acceptance of self, learning, wisdom and understanding and standing tall as the person you are, with confidence and truth is merely all you need to do to shine as you."
Hmm, it's food for thought. How much do YOU compare? In the different situations of your life, do you compare looks? Wealth? Knowledge? Confidence? Stop comparing and come back to all the wonderful qualities of you. Unless you become comfortable with you, you will never fully understand who YOU are and how special you are in this world and what you have come to achieve just for you. You simply cannot compare you to another, you are not on their journey. Come back to you and your own journey, look at only what you need for you.