It's funny, we can reach a point in our lives when our children are growing, more independent, more organised. Work flows and relationships sometimes feel like an old comfortable shoe. I think at this time it is important to start to look at you. What do you do for you? People will say to me 'Oh, I don't know what I want for me". Why not? If I asked you that question 20 years ago you would have had all the answers in the world. When you were excited about your life and all the possibilities. We can get weighted down by responsibility, commitment, work, children and family, to the point you lose sight of you, and what your needs are.
The Guides talk a lot about balance, the correct balance, it's hard to maintain. We do obligation, self criticism, expectations (perceived or otherwise) so well. In the middle of doing all of that you forget to look after you and you are the most important person in your world, not your children, husband, other commitments. Spirit calls it "Going to Sleep". I think it's an appropriate term. Life trundles along and at some point you wake up and go "Hey, no fair, where did my life go and what did I do?".
So you are looking at balance and value, hmmm add any more and you should probably change your profession to "Juggler". Which is what you are. There is no such thing as the perfect balance, BUT you don't need to strive so hard for it. You just have to acknowledge that in the massive scale of life, you are an important being. Equally important as everyone else. For the past week Spirit has been telling people, and yes I get the message. You cannot be everything to everyone. At the end of the day, you can't so why you contorting yourself to try? That's only pressure you are putting on yourself. OH I heard you. Mumbling over there in the corner about feeling guilty and feeling like you are selfish. Pull off that comfortable (or sometimes uncomfortable) old shoe and really have a look at what you are doing. Are you happy contorting yourself? I don't think so.
Look it works like this. There is a Universal Set of Scales, it's the BALANCE LAW, either you sort out your balances in life or the Universe will happily do it for you, with good or bad results. Trust me, I know. Been there DONE that heaps and apparently I'm still getting the T-shirts because I'm a slow learner. Turn it around, instead of feeling guilty and obligated. Please be honest with you. "I cannot do this right at the moment, I need to do this over here for me". (Collective breath in while you wait for the world to go booooom). Oh look it didn't and you were actually honest with someone. Excellent, Gold Star for you. Now next step, to start implementing it. Two steps forward people, not backwards. You don't want the booby prize from the bottom of the Weetbix packet do you. Come on, put some balance back in your life for you. You need, deserve and it will stop you from getting resentful and guilty and beating yourself up AGAIN.
We are learning, still learning, every single day. The point is that's great but self sacrifice is a yucky way to learn. That T-Shirt is puce green, goes with nothing. Sits in your wardrobe and makes you feel ill. Ditch it! Start to take little steps towards the balances in your life and I dunno about you, but boy, its time I threw a few T-shirts out and changed things. You didn't just come to eat your lunch. Change the T-shirt, get back into your life.