You know I wish you had of met my Grand-dad. For us kids, the memories of him are not a difficult, frustrating, stubborn and cantankerous old man but a loveable rouge, always being naughty, cheeky and full of dirty ditties. For us he was a white-haired, tanned crinkly eyed, stooped Grand-dad who was always making us giggle at his naughtiness. We never saw the other side of him that drove our parents nuts, we only saw him through the wonder of kids. He was naughty like us!
He lived with Nan at the top of the North Island, in the Bay of Islands, and my brother and I when we were older, would fly up to Auckland and he would pick us up in an old blue bedford van, we would squash in the back with a pile of pumpkins or vegetables that he had brought on the way for a LONG bumpy ride back to the house by the Sea. Notorious for getting car sick, he would pull over while I was sick, pat me on the back "she'll be right", one of his many on-liners, he would say and off we would set again.
I have the most wonderful memories of this Grand-dad, his pranks, his tricks and most of all his ditties and songs. Some etched forever in us kids memories. He never recovered from losing our Dad, because he had moved down here to be closer to his family after Nan died. My memories are always of him in Te Ngare Bay, winking at me and telling me that old fishermen never die, they just smell that way. I have seen him a lot this week on the corners of my sight, and he never misses an opportunity to come forward in chat to remind me laughingly of childhood antics.
This week has been an interesting one, the Guides have asked me to pay attention to how many times in my clients BUT has been mentioned in their reactions to guidance from Spirit. All through the week every time a BUT has been mentioned by my clients they have poked me and I have noted it. It is my favourite saying in working with people with their BUTS to say "and how's that working for you?" In our lives we are incredibly stubborn and I have to say I am one of the worse. When we are advised that in our unhappiness, we would need to change career/partner/house whatever, BUT is the first thing that happens in our limited, excuse giving, minds.
Having noted all week the BUTS being pointed out to me, this afternoon I was on the phone to a girl friend, telling her about what was happening and what we are going to be changing in our lives, house etc. Off my tongue rolled the very word the Guides had asked me to look out for BUT. Quick as a flash my Grand-dad appeared right in front of me and bellowed "AND HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YOU?" I was so startled that I dropped the phone and stood on the dog, who was on my feet right in front of the fire, heart pounding, I surveyed by errant Grand-dad who was beaming at me "Stop giving me a heart attack!".
I stooped and picked up the phone "Sorry I dropped you" "Are you alright? and who are you yelling at?" I roll my eyes "Can I call you back in a moment, someone has dropped in, literally". I hang up the phone and look at my delighted Grand-dad dancing around the kitchen singing "I'm Henry the 8th I am, I am, I'm Henry the 8th I am". He stops, leans forward with twinkling eyes "So how's that working for you". I walk around him to put the jug on. I laugh, "Oh that's rich coming from you. Mr Stubborn man". I am incredibly stubborn at times, to my own detriment. My Grand-dad very stubborn. My mind the same as everyone else, BUT, WHAT IF, MAYBE...
He laughs, "Well the apple never falls far from the tree" I roll my eyes at him but laugh at the contagious twinkle in his eye. He turns serious for a moment and say "Turn your stubbornness to your advantage, instead of letting it create doubts, make you hold on to things you don't need any more, make your stubbornness to achieve your goal the best thing. No BUTS, they don't work for you, just create obstacles that you are putting in your own way".
He winks and me and disappears, laughter echoing through the realms and the ditty of the Night was dark and stormy following along in his wake. I snort laughter but think about what he said.
So how is that working for you to say BUT all the time? How is that working for you to create obstacles on the basis of what your majorly inventive brain finds. In our fear based society, we create our own obstacles. Now most of us are stubborn, cling to old habits, securities, things that we feel keep us "safe" but only trap us or tie us to what we thought would bring us happiness. In reality, "how is that working for you?" isn't governed by what makes us feel trapped in our lives, need to apply our stubbornness to providing ways around the BUTs, WHAT IF's and MAYBE's and head towards what makes us truly happy. Fear is just a hurdle and you are STUBBORN enough to find away through it, over it or around it. So hows THAT working for you : )