We need friendships, to sustain and compliment us, to help us to grow and to enable us to experience all facets of understanding another person. All are valuable to a degree.
Someone recently told me I was a "Fair Weather Friend", another "A Butterfly" only alighting for a moment and then flying off again when it suited me. These terms are interesting ones and rather than being offended by them, I am intrigued at the expectations of people at times, for it is only expectations that make people put you into categories. So think about this for a moment. Do you expect your friends to "pick" you up? are they a dumping ground? Do you have them because you love their company? Do you feel obligated to be in touch? Are there conditions? things you wouldn't discuss?
Quantifying friendships is interesting. To understand me, I am in this very moment. The moment I am with you, you are everything to me, I listen, talk, confide and laugh, and value you. I also have no expectations of you. I will not be cross at you if you don't ring me, I will not resent you if you are busy. If you don't confide in me, that is also your choice. I don't do obligation very well at all, simply because when I see you, you are everything to me. I don't owe you and you don't owe me. If the connection is there and happens, I am delighted. I love relationships that are effortless and happen when they can, in the moment they happen.
The question is does that make me a good friend or a bad friend? We do guilt so perfectly in this life, obligation to a T! Ask yourself, and most will have one. How much do you treasure the friend that comes wailing to your doorstep, takes up hours of your time, only to leave with most of your energy and when you need them to listen they are too busy? These are scenarios that happen all the time with people and hide under the guise of "Friendship".
In the Universal Laws of Fair Exchange, Friendships need to be equal or one or other parties will become resentful, unhappy and so the "ideal" friendship will change. Have a look at your friendships, are they everything you want them to be or do they come with conditions. What conditions you accept or expect from another is the relationship you will have with them.
What do you quantify as a good friend? For me, someone who sees past the illusion of me, the real me and accepts that I am busy, juggle things, get stressed and moody, and still loves me for the time I am with them. Perfect! No more no less. We need to simply our expectations of others at times and come back to the enjoyment of people, the uniqueness of them and what they bring to us with love. Simple.
It brings warmer relationships, more honesty. When you are trying to squeeze people into your life, your problems will compound. Have them because you like them, love them, value them, BUT also have no expectations, simply because when people have expectations of you in friendships, you don't like it either. Keep it simpler and life flows easier.
The exchanges made with the purest of energy, enhances connections and brings a better understanding at many levels, an openness to your heart. Have friendships you love, not ones that make you feel, stuck, trapped and more alone than in the first place.