There is so much happening at the moment upstairs, and this reflects down to us, completely and utterly. Dreams have been wild, fantastical and filled with both spectrums of the dream worlds, violence, fear, wonder and joy. My dreams have intensified and so have a lot of people as well. I detest having nightmares but at times recognise this is the only way I will address what I perceive I hide from myself in my insecurities.
In this dream I am under water and no matter how many times I try to come to the surface I cannot get to the surface, anxiety and terror start to build and I cannot breathe at all, the water is clear and bright and a voice is staying just breathe, just breathe but I dare not let my breath go because I will swallow massive amounts of water and still I cannot get to the surface. Panic sets in and I find I am immediately sitting up in bed and gasping for air. I feel like I am drawing in great whoops of air and the subsiding feeling of panic and relaxing of tension is a palatable relief.
"You were ok" commented a voice, "you could actually breathe under water, it was only a dream". "I know, but it was so REAL" In a moment's silence I become aware that my hubby is sound asleep beside me and I am obviously talking to someone else. I look up and into the pale green eyes of a green Angel perched on the side of the bed. The Angel lifts a hand and waggles pale green fingers at me. What intrigues me about the Angels is the variety of colours and sizes and just plain amazing looking outfits they come in. This one looks like it is floating in water literally, there is tendrils of palest green fabric floating out into the air, pale blue/green hues ever-changing, but even the skin of the Angel is translucent in shifting, sandy beach, greens and palest blues. It's wings are like shadows in the depths of the oceans, curiously undulating in a myriad of sea green colours, constantly moving like sunlight on water. His lips are darker pale green and his skin shines like the glint of water on a pale sandy beach, hints of blues and greens, depending on the shine of sunlight. I just stare at him. Tendrils of hair float around him like kelp in the tide, a living energy of its own in light and dark hues, stripes of darker greens of a deep sea.
He watches me intently. All semblance of the dream is fading so fast as I stare in fascination at him. "You weren't alone". He comments and a small smile skips across his features and his eyes gleam. "You actually are never alone in your dreams, you all need to realise that". I skip back in my mind to the feeling of the dream, the water wasn't cold, it was just that I couldn't get to the surface. "You didn't need to" he shifts quietly on the end of the bed. He has been following my thoughts as I replay over the dream.
"Understand that in your dreams there are so many levels of messages, influenced by a perception of the rational mind. When you take into your dreams the understanding that you are not ever as constricted as what you are in your "real world", then you have the capability of understanding and changing your nightmares into more positive influences. In this dream if you understood you could breathe under water then the dream would not have taken on nightmare proportions".
"Easier said than done" I comment drily "I wasn't anticipating dreaming about drowning". He laughs and I glare at him. "I was actually telling you, you could breathe, but you weren't listening". "Hmm, well perhaps if you had of appeared, it would have been easier!" "You could not see what you didn't want to see" he commented back and his eyes sparkle again.
"So why did I dream of drowning? I love the sea and a lot of my dreams I am playing in the sea perfectly happily".
He smiles, "sometimes things are symbolic, the pressures that you put on yourself make you feel like you are drowning in the sea of your own life. However, it is you that has the ability to understand you can breathe in any environment, it just comes down to you understanding that you can give yourself that freedom of knowledge. That means you need to stretch your understanding more in this life of the choices you have, so it too can be incorporated into your dreams".
And I understand that. I have been talking to my clients a lot over the last couple of weeks about the horrible feeling of "floating in the Sea of Indecision", understanding that no one person HAS to stay their but it is up to them to make the decision to start swimming in themselves, not others trying to drag them forward. No one can truly give you your motivation back, you have to start to give it back to yourself. It's that simple, stop drifting and start planning.
Vivid dreams are always symbolic and it is worth it to take the time to not get caught up in the fear aspect of the dream, but to understand what the dream is trying to bring to your conscious mind. At times I feel swamped in my life, that rather than me being in my life, my life controls me. It can very much seem like every thing is ok, and then it seems like it can get out of control and I feel smothered, drowning in the pressures of life. The reality is that I have control over that. I can change it at any one time, it is only my perception or my lack of boundaries that means I put that drowning pressure on myself.
We ALL do this at various times. Our expectations of ourselves HUGE, our perception we should DO more, BE more, FIX more, etc. No wonder the Sea of Life becomes so overwhelming and we feel like we struggle to breathe. Heck, most of us don't need a drowning dream to experience that, it can happen weekly at times. However, it is US who is doing that to ourselves.
The Angel shifts on the edge of the bed and draws my attention back to him. He reaches out and touches my face, the warmth of the light of him brushes away all residual traces of the panic and I am left with the feeling of being in warm sun on a tropical beach. I laugh, "Thank you!". He smiles and sunlight sparkles on the surface of the sea, through his smile. "Please know you are never alone, always we watch you all so lovingly when you are asleep. Watching always to keep you safe, at times we are just a moment away, please just reach out to us so we can bring peace back to you after any dream or situation upsets you. You only have to ask". My heart swells with the warmth of that knowledge and in a sunlit sparkle he is gone. I slip back down under the bedclothes and listen to the sound of gentle tides in my ears and smile to myself.
We forget to ask. We forget to KNOW, that we are so loved, at so many levels, in so many ways. Sometimes it only takes a moment in fear to ask for someone to hold your hand, give you peace. We struggle onwards in ourselves at times, feeling isolated and lost, and ever there is a loved one, an Angel, a Guide ever-present to listen, to comfort and to love. Don't forget to ask, that's the truly important bit!