Hmmm I was reading this article the other day and then was talking to someone about what we hide from ourselves in terms of our emotional stability as well. We struggle so much to show others what we really feel in our hearts. I was using an example of Heart Locks, and what we do to ourselves in locking away our emotions.
Here's a for instance.... As you were growing up, your parents separated and you went to live with your Mum or Dad and you were very confused about where you belonged in the relationship between the two. You decided in yourself to keep a bit of you away from both of them, just in case one of them let you down or you didn't quite fit in their life any more. That is a heart lock, a padlock that you put in place yourself as a defence mechanism, if you started doing it as a child, more than likely you have added more padlocks as you have grown. We define these as a necessary defence to being hurt, but in reality we are setting ourselves up for more hurts trying to undo them, as the Universe brings learning to GET you to let them go.
Mathias sums it up....
"Take the time to truly explore all of your experiences from a heart point of view. Put yourself in the place of another, feel what they would feel if that happened to you. Always have empathy for a situation, you cannot fully experience a situation until you have felt how another feels. Accept birth and celebrate it, accept death and grieve it, understand continuity in other form and delight in that knowledge. All of your experiences here are multi-levelled, multi-emotional learning. There is much to be celebrated by this understanding. To try and function in your world at a detached emotional level is just about the same as paddling a canoe with only one paddle, a lot of splashing and very little forward movement". Hmmm true.
The value of a life can be explained, analysed in understanding of the complex, and complete entirety of the human life cycle in a clinical and logical manner. What is to be experienced at a heart and emotional level, is at times beyond the understanding of a logical mind. Emotions are meant to be experienced for all their erraticness and their explosiveness at times, for it gives you a greater understanding of more of your psychological make up. Accepting that emotions are to be fully experienced is a concept that our society at times deems unacceptable. From the time we are young, we are formed to not feel annoyances, "Don't do that in public" a bit like picking your nose really, or "You are growing up now, don't cry at the drop of a hat".
Suppression of emotions is the human condition in our society, that teaches us that we should hide the important pieces of ourselves in order to fit in. Until we learn not to put these padlocks on our hearts at an emotional level, then we will never fully understand the importance in our growth and our experiences to enable us to move forward in both our understanding and our thinking. All experiences here are to be valued including emotional ones and if you really think about it, most the of experiences we have will impact us at an emotional or heart level.
We make promises to ourselves also to not do things "That Guy/Gal hurt me so much in my heart, I will never let someone in that close again". Hmmm how to get an instant padlock... You are pre-empting anyone else from getting in close to your heart by using one relationship to "benchmark" your whole love experience? and also when I see people at times, they say why can't I get close in this relationship, why do I feel it is me holding back? Ummm how do you say "Errm hello, might have a bit to do with that heart lock that you slapped on yourself the last time you were hurt, there possum".
We can gain these heart locks from the experiences that we have, but the point is that at the end of the day, we are the only ones who it affects detrimentally. These locks simply hold us back from embracing all the of the experiences that we were meant to have to become us. We spend years putting them in place, and then spend years either undoing them, or trying to work out who put them there in the first place.
So take a moment, before you react in a situation or think about how you react. Are you building trouble for yourself in not expressing your emotions or are you working with yourself to understand you? It is not a concept that we are easily taught by either society or our parents really. This undertaking is all your own. Welcome to understanding you and in terms of that, the more you understand you, the more you understand people, their hearts and the relationship with both. Try it.