I was talking to Tobias about emotional links and understanding at times what we actually do to ourselves at an emotional level just due to the perception (our own) that it wasn't the right thing to do.   We spend endless hours in our minds, sorting out things, speculating, judging, considering.  Tobias tells me from the Spirit Realm point of view it is exhausting equally for them to try and get through these thoughts to give us the guidance that we need.    Most the emotion thoughts that are self destructive are at a very heavy level and this level takes us below the communication level required with the Spirit Realm most of the time.

Judgement, criticism, anger, doubt, regrets, recrimination and guilt.  These and more are very heavy emotions and bring you down to a lesser vibration than happier thoughts.   Like wading through Pea Soup says Tobias.   Now I am not saying that you don't need to experience these emotions here on the earth plane journey, they are crucial to our learning.   What you need to know is that each one has an impact on our understanding and our growth to a certain level.   In human nature, we have a tendency at times to manipulate situations to our advantage.  Don't pull that face, we have all done this at some stage, it's how we learn and grow.

However, the worst manipulation tool?  Guilt.   When do we experience this the most?  When we do it to ourselves.   Here's a really good example.    The other day I was taking the kids to a soccer game, someone had asked me to drop their child off for them on the way back.   It didn't quite fit into my plans, so I said "I am so sorry, that's not going to work for me".   It should have been that simple, it really should of.    The woman said, "That's okay, I understand, I will try another avenue".   Okay, no problems, again it should have been simple.  "No I can't, sorry about that" and let it go.  However, I then started to try and work out how I could make it work for her and the child, what could I change in my schedule that would make it work.  I could ring and cancel the next place I was going to, or delay it.  I could drop him off first and then go, which would make me late but at least I could help.... Hmmm all of these thoughts and more circulated and I started to feel guilty that I had said "No it didn't suit".    

At NO given time had the other Mum indicated it was a problem, at no time had she said, could you please change something for me.   This guilt was MINE, and I was owning it all the way to the bank!    I felt terrible.  I rang her an apologised.  She was confused, "Jac, it wasn't a problem, honestly".  Then I felt guilty that I had rung and made her feel guilty for asking me.   ROUND and ROUND the Mulberry Bush the Monkey chased the weasel.   I was getting ready for soccer when Tobias said very very loudly in my head "STOP PLEASE!"

"What?" I mumbled sideways at him, mentally working out if I ditched one child here, dropped the other one there, round trip through there, back here, up hill, down dale, over the mountain, under the bridge, could I make it work. Tobias shone right in front of me.   "You need to stop".   I stared at him.  "Stop what?" I said confused.    He sparked in irritation.   "May I ask a question?"  The cat eyes blink at me consideringly.   "Yes sure, Tobias"   "Only when I have your full attention" he said.     I stuff the soccer gear in the bag and plant my feet and look at him, "Yep you have it".

1. "You have said No, I am sorry"

2. "She is not worried and is making other plans"

3. "STOP FEELING GUILTY"

The cat eyes blink irritatingly clear at me.   "Think about what you are doing to yourself around this situation, how is it serving you, where is the benefit, what is the value".     I sigh.   'I feel like I let her down".   Tobias sparks again. "By whose perception?  Yours or hers".    I sit on the bed, "I am doing this to myself aren't I".     He doesn't say a darn word.    I feel like whacking him with a pillow!   Actually, check that I need to whack me with a pillow.   I am the one making an issue here NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE else is.   

Quietly Tobias says "In every situation, every decision, you have a choice.  A choice to take on board what you need to grow, what you need to learn.  Being incredibly hard on yourself with guilt, accomplishes nothing.  It undermines your decision making and your confidence, come back to what is most important.  If it simply does not suit, leave it at that.  No judgements, recriminations, or lack of understanding is there.  Let it go".     I sigh.   He is right.   We absolutely completely and utterly GUILT ourselves out about heaps of things.   You are allowed to not have time to do things.   In order to be completely happy, you cannot spend your whole life trying to make others happy by your own perception.

Please stop doing guilty.  If it is valid fine, find a way to either fix or forgive the situation, but let go of guilt.  It holds back our understanding and our growth.  Worse it holds us back from our true acceptance of being able to do things freely.    You don't get a medal, a gold star or a trophy for guilting yourself out, you get heartache, misunderstanding and sadness.    Do the best you can for you and let go of guilt.