Last night as I went to sleep I was talking to Tai about how frustrating it is when people always expect you to be happy. I don't mean that in a negative way but no one person should be expected to be happy all the time. Human minds are complex things really, we SHOULD be happy a lot, but we get caught up in our own thoughts, our own dramas and then become offended when someone actually says WHY aren't you happy at the moment. I think in wanting the best for people, it can be hard work to maintain being happy when things are changing rapidly in your life as well.
My normal habit when so tired of my own brain when going to sleep is to ask the Guides for a story, so I can pull my focus away from the things that are bothering me. Tai waves a hand and we are in the Zen Garden, the white stones gently crunching beneath my feet, the feeling of the peacefulness of the garden seeping into my bones and I feel like I am slowly inhaling the calm. Tai walks beside me silently, I watch him "A story?" I ask. He holds up a hand, "One moment, things cannot be rushed". I smile. He is perfectly aware that I am not completely relaxed and he will start once he has felt the shift in my thought patterns. I inhale a deep breath and sigh.
He motions us to sit on a small bench, beside a pool I have never noticed before. There is orange and white Koi in the depths and they come to the surface to peer at us curiously. I smile to myself, Oh to be a fish. Tai catches my thoughts and smiles. He holds a finger up and across from us appears a beautiful cherry tree, quite large. It is very disconcerting to see things suddenly appear at times.
The Zen Garden shifts and I feel suddenly like I am in the story. Tai talks quietly and the story starts to unfold.
"Once there was a beautiful cherry tree in the Garden of the Souls, this cherry tree was tended by the gardeners, day in and day out. It had grown to its full size, with the loving tending of the gardeners and the tree stood in pride of place in the very middle. One had to walk an intricate maze to get to the cherry tree, however when in full bloom the tree was something to be seen. Many, many people would come to view the delicate and scented blossoms. One could stand under the cherry tree and the wind would shift and the blossoms would cascade down touching the person lovingly in a light tickling rain.
The tree loved being tended and being at the centre of the maze, it thrived on the attention of the gardeners and each year it seemed to get more and more beautiful and the blossoms larger and more scented. One day a small boy entered the Garden of Souls and stood for ages just staring at the tree. The blossoms cascaded down all the way around him and he stared at the tree in awe. He stayed for the whole day under the blossom tree and then returned the next day and the next and the next. Come rain or shine the boy came to watch the passing of the seasons. The blossoms fell and fruit developed. The Gardeners collected the fruit and gave it to all those who visited other parts of the Garden of Souls, for when the tree was in fruit, it did not have as many visitors but still the small boy came. He sat often and leaned on the tree confiding to the listening ears of the tree.
The fruiting time of the tree passed, and its leaves were lush and full and the boy sat in the shade of them and confided in the tree. As the seasons passed, the leaves turned orange, red and yellow and cascaded on the boy with the shifts of wind and he laughingly collected the colours he wanted as the gardeners tidied the leaves into piles and removed them from the Garden of Souls. The winter coated the land and the snow wrapped its arms around the Garden of Souls, still the gardeners tended the tree and the garden and still the boy came to the tree, muffled up in clothes he leaned against the dark bark of the tree and looked up into the branches and confided in the tree.
One day the tree spoke to the boy. "Why do you come in the winter when I am ugly, have no blossoms, fruit or leaves, I am just bare and ugly in the wind?" The boy turned to the tree and wrapped his arms around it lovingly. "Dear Cherry Blossom Tree, I come because you are all these things, and I do not expect you to be anything but, what you are at the time I come, I come because I love all aspects of you. To me even on the days when the world seems dark and you have your brilliance hidden behind the bark, waiting for the seasons to change, I still see the beauty of you. I simply do not come only when you are beautiful, for to me you are beautiful all the time".
The tree's heart was warmed by the words of the boy and it beamed from its loving energy into the embrace of the child."
Tai looks at me. "Sometimes in YOUR own expectation, you have learned that you THINK you should be happy all of the time, and in that perception, you think everyone should SEE you as happy all the time as well. You need to understand that in the emotions of the earth plane, there is at times, waves of emotions to be dealt with. If you believe that you should be happy all the time, then you STRIVE to be happy rather than allowing yourself simply to be. When you do this, you and others will notice more when you are NOT happy. Simply allow yourself to be, in all that you are. For in acceptance of emotional state of self, rather than TRYING so hard, it becomes as it should be like the natural change of seasons and the ebb and flow of the tides. Simply allow emotions and being to settle without the perceptions and expectations of self".
Hmmm, it's an interesting thought isn't it. We DO get offended if people tell us we are as happy as they perceive we normally are or should be. However, if you choose to take on board their comments then you are also trying to give them something they also desire for themselves. In allowing yourself to feel the emotions of the earth plane, and allowing them to ebb and flow like the tides of the world, then understand nothing ever lasts but they build together to make the entirety of whom you are. Accept that and stop trying so hard to be HAPPIER or more peaceful and simply enjoy being.