In the middle of the night, in whispers in my ear, the call from the "inbetween" floats around me. I wake, the stillness is amazing, "Come talk" I hear. I close my eyes, feel myself move from the physical, become lighter but more me, and grass beneath my feet, tickles on my shins as I walk forward into my world. The colours in the "inbetween" are surreally beautiful, intense and alive. I close my eyes and inhale peace, tranquillity and warmth. I detour and hug my tree, "Welcome back" whispers in the leaves and I am momentarily hugged by tree energy, light green, warm, alive, and kind.
I smile and squeeze my tree, turn and continue up the hill. At the top Gilda is waiting tall in a beautiful ice blue gown, blue-black strands of hair floating in the breeze, as lake eyes watch my progress. She radiates love, kindness and a beautiful bluish light ethereally all around her. Tobias, the beacon, floats beside her, continually swirling, beautiful, old as time, burnished gold, larger than a planet. I laugh, without them I would feel lost, it's like coming home.
I stand in between them and look out to sea. The storm twists and turns on itself, anger, frustration and resentment, add weight to the storm. Green cat eyes appear to my right "Changes are coming". I look steadily into green cat eyes, all seeing, understanding, wisdom and patience of the ages blended in these eyes. "I know" I say. "Yes" he comments. There is movement behind me, I turn and see my other beloved guides in a semi-circle behind me. "All here? I must be in trouble again". Theodore laughs, "no more than usual" he comments. Simon with his perpetually messy hair and beautiful kind eyes smiles. Andrea smiles, patient, kind and pixie-like. I glance at Ny and Lee, so different but so helpful and kind, they return smiles and Lee winks.
"Ready?" Tobias asks. "Yes" I turn and smile. One by one my guides change, back to their most comfortable state, I never forget they take form for me, I am surrounded by large orbs, of different shades, all beautiful, all completely recognisable as who they are. "We are going then?" I ask, momentarily wonder why at some level I already know this and it's overdue. They have been waiting for me, not the other way around. At once I am aware that I am light, an orb just like them, and this is who I am. In a cluster we move, drawn forward, at a tremendous pace, the speed of light, past the "inbetween" and into the spirit world.
Awareness comes and I am in a room, I look at my hands, and see I am in a form again. The others are not, they surround me like a light blanket, merged but individual, their light radiating. Tobias is beside me, larger than the others, "You're fine" he whispers. There is three elders in front of me, the one in the middle reminds me of children's stories. Long hair, wise face, white beard, dark eyes that survey me with interest and understanding. He steps forward, I step forward too. "Hello again" he says, these thought words are not spoken, they float in and around my mind. "I'm back" I say. He smiles, beams light, wisdom and love all around me. "And so you learn" he states.
The hardest thing to explain is that in that moment I understand, understood a lot. I remember coming back with the Guides, feeling clearer, more directed, having understanding, but for the life of me at a level I cannot comprehend with the physical brain, but I know will be clearer in time. One thing I know and understand. We under estimate the value of being here. This journey is not at all about other people, they are learning too. We were born just to be alive, to experience everything. At every single level. It is complex, rewarding, frustrating and annoying. We are born to be. What's my purpose, people ask, find it, don't wait for it to come to you, it's why you came. It's to live, to love you, to enjoy the experience of a physical body. You are everything you can possibly be, the limitations are limitless, what you choose to do with your body is your choice! You will have challenges, frustrations and learning. But that's what you are here for. To be alive, to be you in the body while you are here.
You have forgotten the wonder of having a body to begin with, the trials of it, what you perceive you want it to be, what others expect you to be. You have an amazing amount of choice in your life, we perceive we have none at times. "I couldn't control what happened to me" no you couldn't but what did it teach you, what did you learn, what did choose not to be because of it. You were born to be alive, to experience it. Have no regrets, shine as you. Learn and grow, it's why you came. Be all you can be, be you.