The energy has been swirling for days and Upstairs been busy with the complexity of shifts and energy changes. Frequently there has been a blurring the lines of realities and this afternoon in the midst of a headache, I closed my eyes and was pulled backwards beyond the couch I was sitting on.
I open my eyes and I am in an office, but the walls are lined with text books, red wood shines from the dullness of cloth books drawing my attention in the light to the gold embossed writing on the spines of the books. Immediately I am aware of two things at once, the suit I am wearing is extremely close-fitting and also the scent of pipe smoke lingers on the air like the echo of a fragrance of a flower.
I search my mind for where I am and glance around, I seem leaned backwards into the leather of the chair, legs stretched in front of me, grey suit with seams pressed as sharply as the edge of a knife, and a pipe on the desk in front of me, the bowl cleaned, freshly prepared. The hands resting on the desk are handsome, long fingered, academic in their refined texture. Beneath them is pages of writing and an expensive looking inkstand and pens. Momentarily startled, I glance across from me and see a refined, immaculately dressed gentleman of rounder stature seated opposite me, watching me intently with the most intelligent eyes, hair immaculate and beard trimmed elegantly. He shifts a hand and reaches and lights the cigar in his hand, leans forward and places the match on the bowl on the desk and leans back, adjusts his waist coat, glances at the clock on the wall, raises one eyebrow and queries "And?".
I search my brain instantly, I feel elusively I am supposed to KNOW this question and yet it is GONE simply from my mind. I grit my teeth mentally and wish with all my might out of this obvious flashback to a previous life. I glance at the desk in front of me and see a sentence underlined in black ink twice. "The Illusion of our Concept of Reality". I take a moment to consider this statement. I sense the gentleman is politely, be it impatiently, waiting for my answer.
"Come now" he puffs in enjoyment on the cigar "You know as well as I do, you love to challenge the mind with your concepts". I feel a tiny bit mortified at the flicker of condescension in his tone. I grab hold of a thread of thought that passes through my mind and hold onto it.
"Yes, but you understand, that by design, we "create" a perception of our reality that we find infinitely believable, governed by the impact of our peers, our society, our upbringing and then we set about smothering anything else that our heart or the passion of us desires. We live in the illusion that we created as an agreeable concept to ourselves. The dream state merely manifests all that we have rejected in our emotions, our desires and builds them into a reality that is so very vastly different from our current reality of illusion that we THINK that our dreams are the Illusion and our reality is what we really need and desire".
He puffs out a snort in a puff of smoke. "Yes but fundamentally WHY do you believe that this Illusion that you perceive we are living, IS the Illusion, and the dream state is the reality?" I shake my head at him sharply. "No, Sir, that is a blanket condensement of what I want to explore and is not what I am saying, for I believe that there is multiple states of reality and multiple states of Illusion. You, yourself in your writing have talked about the levels of the psyche and the depths of the human condition. How can you not perceive that there is more beyond that element than merely tying back to the common functionality of suppressed human sexuality?".
Another cloud of cigar smoke puffs into the air "Asking people to look beyond what they deem is comfortable and asking them to address whether they have just created an Illusion of their life, is asking them to go beyond the depths of human comprehension into the inner psyche. Most people are terrified of this element of themselves, it is simply why their dreams can manifest into such violent emotions".
I frown at him "What if this illusion we are creating in our narrowness, our conformity and suppression of our true emotive state, is the worse possible thing we could have done to ourselves? What if the dream state is the truth of what our beings really need and desire and which is WHY our dreams leave us at times with such an intensity and longing for things to be different?"
He puffs an enormous amount of cigar smoke at me and leans forward "What if you are right? Are you really prepared to go again the world and OPEN that particular can of worms? In a society that is pious and rejects the concept of dreams completely generating back into a sexually repressed pyschological manifestation? You want to tell them simply that THEY have created this illusion for themselves?"
I feel annoyance brewing in me like a hot coal, I straighten and fiddle with the pipe and try to pierce him through the smoke with my eyes. "WHY NOT?"
There is a massive pulling sensation and I open my eyes and jump, my heart is racing and my headache weighing heavily on my temples. The lounge reflects back at me in all its familiarity and comfort. I squeeze my eyes close and rub my head. It feels like I have been hit by a freight train. I go to the bed and lie down, escaping into sleep and away from the headache.
Upon waking though, I was thinking and the elements the smell of pipe and cigar smoke curl along the threads of my mind. We DO create our own illusion of what we perceive WE need in our lives, however if we examine WHY we think that the perfect house, the perfect job, the perfect partner, is what we need. When did we come to that conclusion? Why did we put that perception of illusion on ourselves. IS it in fact our own? You can argue it is from our parents, their parents and so on or how society says we should behave.. But really? Is it an illusion that is making you happy? What are your dreams? Do you soar with the stars at night in your dreams, for this is a dream of freedom. Why do you not incorporate that in your life? Do you dream of a perfect love, then why do you not love yourself so you can recognise that wonderful love beyond the illusion of what society deems love is?
It is a can of worms.... and its HUGE, until you go into self and stop dismissing your dreams for your current illusion of your life... how will you know? Climb outside the box and look at your dreams, not just the ones in your rational mind, but the ones in your heart and your truth, for truly they set you free into the reality of you.