I’ve had bangs for most of my life, except during the year when I turned 13. That’s when I grew them out and wore my hair in a ponytail because that’s what my best friend Toni did. Eventually, I determined that my forehead was too high, and I went back to wearing bangs. But lately I’ve decided I might be wrong. Do foreheads shrink with age? When I look at my forehead in the mirror, my brow is not high but low. Now I’m thinking that maybe I never had a high forehead, and that it was only my mother who thought so. She also believed that I have a long neck. God bless all moms who can make their teenage daughters believe they’re high browed and long-necked! It sure helped me with my teen-esteem! But checking myself out in the mirror recently, I’ve decided that neither is true.
So, like many of you, I made a New Year’s resolution. Actually, I made three. One was never again to try to publish a book over the holidays. Well, the book’s done and who knows if I can finish another one by year-end? My second resolution was to start a diet once all the yummy cookies, chocolates, and other calorie-rich foods were eaten up. This took a good while, but I started Monday. So, wish me luck!
But it’s the third resolution that hatched my Big Bang(s) Theory, my decision to give up my pixie hairstyle and embrace my maturity by growing out my bangs.
But dang it all, along comes the presidential inauguration. Well, we all know what happened there. It wasn’t Barack Obama’s impassioned speech, calling for equal rights for all, that got the whole world tweeting. No, sir. It was Michelle’s bangs. Sorry, Mr. President! Seems the first lady’s new do stole your thunder! Breaking news alerts went out across the globe. Political pundit or mere amateur Beltway watcher—all of us were talking about Michelle’s bangs. How could we concentrate on our president’s words when there, by his side, stood Michelle, looking like one of his daughters?
With comments of too cute, amazing, lovely, young, adorable, who would choose this momentous juncture in women’s hairstyling history to grow out her bangs? Not me! Who wouldn’t want to look amazing and cute and adorable? And how about younger? Amid speculations of who should get a hair makeover, amid posts of who goes to the same gym as Michelle’s stylist, women across the globe were rushing to their salons to get their hair cut “a la Michelle.”
Lucky me. I already have bangs and I’m going to keep them. At least this year! And I have news for the president. It wasn’t his inauguration speech that united us. Michelle did it with a few snips of her hair. For however short a time it lasted, Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Libertarians, Tea-partiers, Pro-Lifers and those who are pro-choice, Blacks, Whites, Native Americans, Hispanics, gays and straights, and others who don’t wish to be allied with anyone else, all of us were on message.
So, this is how I’ve come up with my Big Bang(s) Theory. If we want to get along, let’s not talk about gun control, abortion, climate change, immigration, the budget, or whatever else your particular gripe might be.
Let’s talk about hair!
Causes Irma Fritz Supports
Music of Remembrance, Seattle, WA; Compass Center, Seattle, WA; Seattle Opera, Seattle, WA; Seattle Art Museum, Seattle, WA; KCTS 9, Seattle, WA (PBS)