, yes, the biggest fear there is for an average teenager and pretty much an average adult too, and pretty strong for somebody like me.
OK, I must say that I have been afraid of being ordinary because I was afraid that I would become ordinary and I still wouldn't belong. Being a weirdo is a pretty good excuse for this, but if you are just the average person and still feel an outcast, it's depressing.
I feel average (and at last I've understood that it's not that bad: an average mother, an average copywriter, an average wife, an average wannabe writer, it's all good), and I don't feel like I belong. Every time I get this warm feeling of acceptance I feel as if I've cheated somebody.
But it's somehow fine too, as I'm getting comfortable feeling outside. I was writing about this guy who gets abducted by aliens and cannot communicate, cannot get back to his crew, cannot help his friend, is essentially helpless and lost in the woods, unable to find his way because he's not the type who'd be able to tell where North is. And then I got rid of this part because I understood that I was giving him exactly what he desired. (I'm always way too nice with my characters.)
And this is the scary part of self-revelation and self-acceptance: as soon as you friggin ACCEPT who you are and set these things to peace, and secretly hope that this ugly task of getting sorted out is done and you can actually feel happy for a while; then you suddenly find out that this identity has become a mask, hiding a different personality.
I suppose that in the next year, I might fight my fear of being extraordinary, fear of being accepted as such, and fear of actually belonging somewhere.
Out of which, the third will be the hardest.