Heather Koelle's Blog
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Oct.15.2009
Remember a couple of weeks ago when I wrote about letting go of the helium balloon?
Well,it barely left my hands when I grabbed it again,this time holding it so tightly that the air went out of it and it fell to the ground,limp.And I could not get any air into it anymore.It was dead.
The truth was...
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Oct.14.2009
The Wizard of Oz was one of my favorite movies as a child,along with Gone With the Wind.I read the books of both of these movies as well.
Now as an adult,having seen the movie so many times I can quote big chunks of the dialogue,I see how the movie symbolizes my life and how I feel about it.
The...
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Oct.14.2009
THE BEGINNING OF TRUST
What would be the beginning of trust?
For one that you would answer me,
That you would be able to take in what I have told you
That you could see I am changing
That you could see that I understand your boundaries
And now have some of my own.
What would be the beginning of...
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Oct.13.2009
I feel purged of the turbulent emotion I wa feeling a couple of hours ago,having given them a name and writng about them seems to be helping me understand what is causing me emotional pain.
for me,giving a name to the feelings brings them more under control.I have been on a emotional roller coaster...
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Oct.13.2009
Some days it is like this.I just dont understand what happened.And so I write here,hoping to one day make sense of it all,feeling kind of silly for constantly returning to this subject.butToday it got me,held me in its grip sucking the life out of me,replacing it with crushing dispair.Writing is...
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Oct.11.2009
As I was having coffee in bed this morning my grey tabby,Nimbus,hopped up on my lap,put his little paws on my chest,as a hug and proceeded to purr loudly.AS my son entered the room and my snoring husband lay nest to me(having stayed up til 3am the night before laying a new floor) I said "why...
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Oct.10.2009
THE THUNDERSTORM
Suddenly,
The black clouds sweep in
Swiftly ,as distant claps of thunder are heard
Dogs begin to bark
My kitties hide under the bed
I hear fire engines
The thunder is getting louder
And now the rain
With its gentle sound
That I always love
Gets louder
As it becomes more...
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Oct.10.2009
He could not recognize me
Just as Hannah Arendt's mother coulldn't recognize her
Having preconceived notions
Of what all women were like
even as he wrote of his pain
And I mirrored back my own
And he said"I dont know you in real time"
ANd I said"why not change that?"
But he...
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Oct.10.2009
UNDER THE ICE
Sometimes
When I revisit the pain
And sit there for awhile
I feel stuck there
As if under the ice
Head pushing at its coldness
Franticly trying to breathe
And wonder if I can
Break it with my head
Banging against it
In vain...
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Oct.10.2009
I'm Done
I'm done,he said,
I cannot muster up the energy
anymore.
To respond to your emails in a complicated way,
I need
to take care of my real time things
I'm through wasting time with you
You cant accept my boundaries
(I cant understand them)
When,logically,the next step
should have been to...
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Oct.10.2009
Well,here it is Saturday.I have finally figured out how to post my photo! Now to you young people out there this is no great feat,but to those of us who are "technically challenged" it is a astonishing feat,indeed!
I thank the young man who helped me with this.Now no one can say I am...
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Oct.09.2009
I read on facebook today the most horrific thing I have ever read. A father raped hs 8 day old daughter!!to me this is the most depraved,sadistic,cruel heinious thing I can imagine.the damage done to that poor little baby girl broke my heart,and I pray every night for all abused and neglected...
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Oct.09.2009
It seems that my whole life I have felt invisible.This to me is the worst kind of abuse,because it means you do not matter.
AS a child I was the next to the youngest,so by the time hand me downs got to me they were almost unwearable. I was the lost chid in the middle of the middle,and soon learned...
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Oct.08.2009
Could it really be true?That poem I saw last night
on his website,which had been barren for 6 long weeks?
the one bout the beginning of trust?
I had just returned from two days at the shore
A small vacation from the pain of losing him
Two days spent wth good friends
and nature
I visited a bird...
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Oct.07.2009
Ever since I was a little girl I was a rescuer. I befriended the kids that no one else would go near,like in first grade a little girl named Gwen,who had serious heart trouble.I would hang back and walk with her,matching her slow pace,as the other girls raced ahead to whatever class we weer going...
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poet,fiction writer(not yet published)”
About Heather
I am a musician and a beginner poet who is wanting to connect with other writers for advice or help with my work.
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Causes Heather Koelle Supports
public health care,world peace,environmental stewardship,psychology,society against child abuse,spiriitual and psychological quests,recovery issues,mental...