As the season of Valentines Day draws near it gives me pause to think about the hard lessons of love.sometimes an illusion can appear to be the real thing,cracking open the heart in such a way to leave it totally open and vulnerable,and when then rejected,leave wound so deep one thinks one will never recover.
But in hindsight often such harsh lessons are the most beneficial,as they show us what is NOT real love and open a closed heart to recognize love when it comes.
THis very thing happened to me almost 2 years ago. A man came into my life,opened up my heart and soul,and then left,as quickly as he came.For him,it was only company for a lonely man..for me it was a soul connection,and,when he found a real flesh and blood girl,he cut the ties quickly and cruelly,like ripping off a bandage.
It took a full year to process the grief and loss,the self doubt,the feelings of worthlessness.
But then a strange thing happened. I got tired of sitting in the pain and sought healing.Through many avenues I began the rugged climb to self discovery,to why I had been so vulnerable(not for the reasons I had thought)and began to see the experience for what it really was..a learning about the minds of other people,their motivations,their lack of empahty.
And I knew I had dodged a real fatal bullet. The rawness healed but my heart remained open.THis was good on many counts,for it forced me to really look at the totality of myself,the good and the bad,and accept it all.
AS a result I stopped the victim mentality,stood up for my rights and beliefs,and,when I made a new friend,was able to see him for just who he is,warts and all,to let go of expectatins and to just enjoy our kinship.
WE are still friends now,and after a rocky start,it has settled in to a nice easy companionship,each of us helping the other one out,laughing together,long talks on the phone,sharing our eccentricity as creative artists. Beautiful.
And I also learned tht I could survive intense heartbreak and grow from it.And for that,I am grateful for the guy that tore my heart open,for he taught me how to really live. My only wish is that I could thank him.for he taught me so much!
Through adverstiy comes growth.
Causes Heather Koelle Supports
public health care,world peace,environmental stewardship,psychology,society against child abuse,spiriitual and psychological quests,recovery issues,mental...